just a small town girl

If I Had the Chance, I'd Ask the World to Dance.

2012-01-27T13:00:00.000-08:00

Do you guys have a Kinect? Neither do I, but - let me tell you - I sure do need one. Every time I go home to Seattle and stay with my sister, we not only bust the Dance Central disk out, but our best moves, too. In fact, I wouldn't have thought it was possible, but Dance Central has replaced even playing our beloved Rock Band. (A game we played so often that I started telling people I couldn't do things because I had "band practice" - a phrase I will never, unless you count the years I played the alto sax in junior high and high school, get to use seriously.)

If you haven't played, you should. Consider it a gift to your mental health. I know I plan on getting a Kinect and both versions of Dance Central as soon as possible.

Joy (and unabashed pregnant dancing) documented below.

Happy 1st Birthday, Samson!

2012-01-21T13:30:00.000-08:00

Today is Samson's first birthday!

Happy birthday, baby man. From the first day we brought you home, we adored you. You sure gave us quite the scare that first week, but you're a strong little boy and you survived to grow into our favorite companion and very best friend. And, luckily, this blog has been here to chronicle it all. From falling in love with your first puppachino from Starbucks, to stealing the spotlight in your first photo shoot, to being named The Daily Puppy, to your first hotel stay, to putting up with your mother dressing you as a bumblebee and Santa Claus.

And somehow you found the time to grow a mustache, a beard and the world's longest eyelashes.

We love you, Sammy. What a wonderful year it has been with you in it.

Happy birthday!

Great Expectations: We're Having a Baby!

2012-01-17T11:00:00.000-08:00

So, I've been keeping a little - er, um, maybe not so little anymore - secret. By the end of May/early June - Jenner, Samson and I will be joined by a little bouncing bundle of joy.

That's right, folks. A baby. It's overwhelming and life changing and, even when I'm crying over a song on the radio or knee deep in my favorite ice cream, simply magical.

It turns out, life doesn't always follow the same plan we so painstakingly make and map out, but I have never been more at peace with where I am.

Much, much more to come.

Lots and lots of love and joy, Kathleen

PS) Oh, and it's a GIRL!

"So this is Christmas..."

2012-01-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

This is Christmas joy.

2011 - Rough Patches & Happy Endings.

2011-12-30T15:30:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again, friends. The time when we sit back and reflect on our year - the good, the bad, the ugly and the life changing - and if you have a blog, this is the time to write. So, here I am, writing and reflecting.

2011 was more and less than anything I could have imagined. Many of both the most difficult and most beautiful moments I have chosen to keep off the blog this year, but their impact resonated throughout my life and into everything I wrote. The beginning of 2011 was clouded in those dark moments that accompany only the roughest of patches. There were mistakes made, regrets collected and mountains to overcome. There was idle time, more than one new beginning and, in big and little ways, there was hurt.

And then I fell in love... Mr. Samson Muhapi came into my life and filled it with kisses and puppy breath and love. Although I had wanted a dog for so long, I couldn't have known all the ways my furry boy would change my little world and make it an infinitely happier space to live in.

In June came the ten year anniversary of my sweet father's death and, with this anniversary, the realization that I was not living my best life. There were changes to be made, habits to break and work to be done and I got on it. I owed it to my dad and I owed it to myself and in only a couple of months, my life had transformed into something I was proud of again. By the end of summer, I was literally back on my feet again, working as a children's therapist alongside people I cared about and feeling like I was truly making a difference. I felt like a new person and I loved it.

This love and passion for my life continued right on into the end of the year. When I look back on 2011, I can't help but get a little teary eyed. I am so proud of what I have overcome and of who I am on the other side of it all. More than anything else, I am proud of the choice I made to be happy again. And happy I am. Very.

As the year comes to a close, I am absolutely in love with Florence + the Machine's song, "Shake it Out." This song has been on repeat for weeks and I can't think of a better message for leaving this last year behind and starting what is sure to be the most joyful and exciting chapter of my life. (More on that to come. Stay tuned, folks...) When Florence sings "it's always darkest before the dawn" - I'm dancing my heart out in that very dawn and shaking out so much of the past.

Thank you for the challenges and the triumphs, 2011. You have taught me that rough patches are to be expected, but joy - if chosen - will always endure. I appreciate the hard times this year has offered because without them I wouldn't be where I am now. And this, this right here, is the very beginning of my happy ending.

Happy Holidays! {... and Embarrassing My Dog Since 4/11.}

2011-12-23T11:00:00.000-08:00

Saturday Night at the Prom.

2011-12-21T16:30:00.000-08:00

These good people put on one hell of a bicycle prom the other night. What is a bicycle prom, you ask? Check this out. It was a fun night with great music and I'm a big fan of any opportunity to get a little dressed up. Oh, and any chance to get to go to prom with the handsome boy. At one point, Jenner asked me what I had just said and I had to reply, "Um, I was rapping to Lauryn Hill at you not talking." In other words, it was one good time. I'll let the photos tell you the rest.

{Failing miserably at trying to get the three of us in one shot.}

{With our friend Josh, the best dressed man at bicycle prom.}

{Hilarious.}

Do-do-do-do-do Dora!

2011-12-16T10:45:00.000-08:00

I am in love with a four year old boy - my nephew, Jude. He, however, is in a long term relationship with Dora the Explorer. They've been going strong for two years now and although we thought is was a phase, their enduring love has proved us all wrong.

Last week, when my sister took Jude to get his hair cut, he insisted Dora get one too.

I love you, Jude. You're your own person and we wouldn't have it any other way. I can't wait to see you in one week. You too, Dora.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Christmas.

2011-12-14T14:30:00.000-08:00

Let me preface this post by saying that Christmas Eve is - hands down - my favorite day of the year. For the record, I also get really into the holiday spirit by the time December 17th rolls around. Until then? Um, yeah, not so much.

You see, I will always be that girl who audibly groans when Target puts out the Christmas decorations smack dab in the middle of Halloween. I will always be the girl who prefers to shop online to avoid one of my least favorite combinations in this world: chaos and consumerism. Oh, and I will never, ever be the girl who gets excited to throw on a scarf and drink a holiday flavored Starbucks beverage. It's just not who I am.

And don't even get me started on Santa. Big guy, you know I love you, BUT... Honestly what are we doing to children? It's like we scare them into thinking some Big Brother type is watching them, judging them and keeping track of every little thing they do wrong. And the worst part is that I do it, too. I pulled this crap on a kid I was babysitting earlier this week. I had to later tell him that Santa loves kids and understands that we all make mistakes. As if Christmas wasn't anxiety inducing enough without the threat of no presents.

All that said, I still love the magic, the possibility and the excitement of the holiday season. I just happen to like it all after December 17th. ;)

Whenever it is you start feeling the holiday love, I hope these are only the happiest of days for you and your family.

Let's Just Get It Out There.

2011-12-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

This girl - this girl right here - is grumpy.

First of all, what is going on with the Kardashians? Seriously. I was really hoping Kim's over-the-top wedding/divorce might wake us all up to the fact that these people are making (even more) money off of our complacency. Let's stop watching their shows and buying magazines with their faces plastered on the front. I can tell you what's going on without you needing to read one more glossy tabloid or tune into one more riveting episode. Kourtney's pregnant, Khloe can't get pregnant and Kim is worried she'll never find anyone to love her. Done.

Oh, and Barbara Walters putting the Kardashians at the top of her 10 Most Fascinating People list? Well, now seems as good a time as any to tell you I've never like Barbara Walters.

Another source of my grumpy mood? People constantly complaining on Facebook and Twitter. Honestly, it just exhausts me endlessly. I swear, if I read one more FML, I'm tempted to just defriend. C'mon, people, even when we don't, we still have it pretty damn good.

Oh, and today started out rough. Missed breakfast and decided to take myself out to brunch at IHOP. Now, I love a solo meal as much as the next girl and pancakes are kind of my comfort food, but... something about my late morning at IHOP was just depressing. It smelled like Swedish pancakes and shame.

What else? Well, this guy is a homophobic a** and this guy is just plain awesome. However, together, these two make me giggle uncontrollably.

Other things making me giggle and smile? The boyfriend took me on a really fun surprise date last night, this weekend is looking like it's going to be a great one and the two week countdown to flying home for the holidays starts... now!

Even in a bad mood, I'm one happy, excited girl.

Happy Friday, friends!

Happy.

2011-11-29T15:30:00.000-08:00

Over the last few days, I've been feeling incredibly - and overwhelmingly - happy. There are lots of big and little reasons for this, but no matter the reason, I think it's so important to take the time to acknowledge your happiness - to yourself and to the universe. It can feel awfully fleeting at times, but that's what makes it so damn special. Sometimes it's just a zebra print Snuggie, a good book and a charming puppy to curl up with. And, sometimes, it's the most exciting, life changing news in the world. Whatever the reason for your happy, I hope you're feeling it today.

The Little Yellow Sweater.

2011-11-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

There's a yellow theme going on here...

The other day, I was looking through some of my photos from this last year and noticed there has been an important presence I may have overlooked. Yep, the presence of the little yellow (okay, mustard) sweater. That sweater was with me through a lot. It kept me comfortable on those long (long, long, long) nights working the graveyard shift at the psychiatric hospital. It kept me feeling stylish (when I was really anything but) after my two ankle surgeries. It accompanied me to fantastic dinners (the three photos in this post were all taken at such meals) and made my poor coworkers shake their heads and wonder if I had anything else to wear.

Let's just face it. Like I tend to do with a lot of things, I overdid it. That poor sweater is in dire need of a replacement, but I can hardly stand to part with it. After all, it really has been quite the constant companion. Maybe I'll wear it to Thanksgiving tomorrow before finally releasing it into retirement.

Before then, a thank you to the little yellow sweater who never failed to add a pop of color to my wardrobe and a sprinkle of happiness to my days. You will be missed.

The Big Yellow House.

2011-11-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

Seven strangers, picked to live in a house...

No, I'm not talking about The Real World. I'm talking about the big yellow house. A big yellow house I called home for years.

There was Monica, Michael, Karen, Pat, Kevin and myself. There was a time my cousin Curtis lived there and also a beautiful, terrible man whose name I can no longer remember (but a man who was so certain of his own beauty that he liked to practice yoga - shirtless, no less - in front of you while continuing to stare back to see if you were watching). Oh, and then there was Marlise who vanished into the night one evening, but left us with the seventh member of our household, Scorch the cat.

For a few years, I used to watch The Real World before realizing I didn't need to. I lived it, people. We had the same drama and the same love, minus the cameras, in an old, beautiful school house that was rumored to once house the Seattle chapter of the Black Panther Party.

In that house, many bottles of beer were drank. Many laughs were shared and Sex and the City was a Sunday night ritual. Hot tub parties were had and, sometimes, offered up as the after party option during last call on Pine Street. (Okay, that may have just been me, but nobody will ever let me forget it.) There was the fire on the second floor and the one-eyed cat who stole our hearts. Fights were fought, flirtations were born and, somehow, we all remained close. We were with each other through terrible choices in romantic partners, crushing heartbreaks and hideous mustaches. We came together to say goodbye to Scorch, our house mascot, welcome Duey the dog and grieve a man we all loved, my dad. What we were - and are - more than anything else was a family.

The biggest thing any of us ever did in that house was grow up. And in the big yellow house's final chapter, we welcomed a little man named Max. Talk about growing... and growing up.

I still can't drive by the big (no longer yellow) house without feeling nostalgic. Those were some good years and that was a great home.

In Praise of Falling Apart. {Stomping Your Feet, Crying on the Floor & Having A Miserable Damn Year.}

2011-11-10T14:45:00.000-08:00

If you know me, you know this last year has been rough. The 365 days in between the summers of 2010 and 2011 were chalk full of dead ends, heartbreak and dragons in need of slaying. It was long and it was hard, but it is over.

As I look back on what can only be described as kathleen and the terrible, horrible, no good, rotten, very bad year, I realize how necessary it is to have these dark times. Without them, how would we know just what we are made of? How would we know to relish in the delight of the good times? And, more than that, how would we become the people we are meant to be?

A very wise person said to me earlier this year, "This is the time you'll look back on and think, 'I climbed up from that.' " And, friends, she was right. I did climb up from that.

In this culture, we tell people to get over it. To quit crying and move on. To pull yourself up by your bootstraps. (Or as my mother would say, "Pull your socks up.") Well, guess what? I'm here to tell you not to get over it, but to get under it. Roll around in your sorrow and your hurt and your struggles. It won't last forever, I promise. Cry and stomp your feet and pull the covers up over your head. Give yourself the time and the attention the world tries to refuse you. You're worth it. And, one day, maybe even a year from now, you'll feel better. In fact, you'll be glad you fell apart in order to have the opportunity to build again.

And right now is all about rebuilding. Rebuilding a beautiful life on the rubble of all the inevitable hard times you survived.

"... but damn you smell good, like home."

2011-11-07T10:57:00.000-08:00

"It's a big, bad world full of twists and turns and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment. The moment that could have changed everything." - Hank Moody

Home.

2011-11-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago, I flew home to Washington. It had been eight months since I had been home and, even worse than that, since I had seen my mother. EIGHT MONTHS. In my world, this is pretty damn unacceptable. You see, my family is very close and being away from them - especially those sweet little boys I call my nephews - was heartbreaking. So, needless to say, this trip home was much needed and long anticipated.

I was lucky enough to fly in just in time to celebrate my sister's 40th birthday with some of our closest friends. As our girl Karen (accidentally) put it in her celebratory birthday toast, "It's great to see all these old faces!" Sure, she didn't mean it the way it came out, but it had me rolling nonetheless.

(Thanks for the laughs, Karen!)

I got in late Friday night and was GIDDY to see two of my closest girls, Katie and Carina. We stayed up giggling way too late and I woke up (very) early the next morning to coffee, laughs with my family and snuggles with my nephews. It was absolutely perfect. Since my mom's birthday is two days after my sister's, we had a lot of celebrating to do that afternoon. The ladies in the family indulged in crepes and mimosas before treating ourselves to manicures and pedicures. After a much needed nap, we all headed to one of my favorite restaurants in Seattle (or anywhere), Marjorie, for a birthday celebration.

After enjoying a fantastic meal and great conversation with people I hadn't seen in a very long time, came my favorite part of the evening - the dessert train! Marjorie brought out five or six of the most delicious treats and - being the close bunch that we are - we ignored the extra plates, grabbed our spoons and passed the desserts down. It was deliciously amazing.

(Can you see the happiness?)

Our next stop on the birthday train was a few hours of singing and laughter at Rock Box, a Japanese style karaoke club in my favorite neighborhood in Seattle, Capitol Hill. 10 years earlier, we celebrated my sister's 30th at a different karaoke club in town and, let me tell you, the venue options have vastly improved in the last ten years. For three hours, we sang (I rocked "Run to You" by Bryan Adams, thank you very much) and fell over laughing at the enthusiasm of my sister's friend, Rich.

The person who stole the show, however, was my sister, the birthday girl herself. I'm kicking myself for not getting a good photo of her, but - honestly - the whole time she was singing she had me so mesmerized, I forgot everything else. Every number she performed, had the whole crowd cheering. I even think a tear might have rolled down my face during her rendition of Pat Benatar's "We Belong."

(Luckily, I got a good shot of her husband, Michael.)

The rest of the trip included a lovely brunch with my oldest friends, Carina and Danny, more quality time with the family and some special time with just my mama in my little hometown. As much as I loved all of my time in Washington, the time with just my mother and the quiet of my childhood home was needed more than I can say. (And - for the record - I have no idea why I never get a good photo with my mom. I promise to fix this when I'm home for Christmas.)

To my family and friends, thank you. This trip - although too short - was just exactly what I needed. Sometimes the only thing we need is home.

This is Halloween.

2011-11-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

Happy {Celebrity} Halloween!

2011-10-31T14:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!

I don't know about you, but I LOVE Halloween. {Need the proof? See for yourself here.} However, there is a whole lot going on in my little world right now and I got lazy and just threw on last year's bumblebee costume. I'm not proud, BUT I do have the cutest little furry bumblebee as my Halloween partner this year. (More on that later in the week.)

You know who never gets lazy on October 31st? Celebrities. You gotta love it. Just look at Jessica Simpson admitting she's "going to be a mummy" and finally flaunting that baby bump we all knew was there.

And you have to love the creativity The Today Show puts into their costumes every year. Boyfriend and I checked that one out this morning.

Glee's Matthew Morrison as Richard Simmons. Love it.

The Carey/Cannon clan.

The incomparable Gwen Stefani.

Nick Lachey and Kelly Ripa couldn't have had better timing with their costumes.

Speaking of the Kardashians, here's the only one that doesn't make me want to pull my hair out and her cute little man.

Heidi Klum always kills it on Halloween.

And, finally, my favorite celebrity costume of the year. Nicole Richie as Jennifer Lopez. Spot. On.

One more time. Happy Halloween!

Dear Lindsay Lohan.

2011-10-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Lindsay,

I know you've had a busy day, but you know what? I've had a busy day, too. You see, I have this thing called a job. I know it's been a while and you may no longer remember what that word means, but you used to have one of these, too.

Here's the thing, Linds. Everybody loves a comeback. Look at Britney. She consisted on a diet of nothing but Cheetos and crazy for years and somehow managed to pull it up a notch. Girlfriend even shaved her head and still shimmied her way back into our good graces. Look at you, you still have all your hair and that's gotta count for something (although the state of your teeth suggest a problem that can probably only be solved by Dr. Drew).

Here's the other thing, freckles. Even though we love a comeback, I think I can safely speak for everyone when I say we're sick of your shit. The denial. The endless excuses. The entitlement that is nothing short of egregious. Get your act together, take some accountability and fight for the life most of us can only dream of.

Oh, and good luck.

Best, Kathleen

You Get a Second Chance.

2011-10-11T16:45:00.000-07:00

The Year I Spent Limping, in a Wheelchair and on Crutches.

2011-10-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, on October 1st, it hit me that it had been one year since my knee surgery. You see, several months prior to that, I re-injured what I did not realize at the time was a fractured kneecap. A fractured kneecap I walked on for two years that later resulted in the need for knee surgery and two subsequent ankle surgeries.

This post is not about rehashing all of that, however. There are things I learned in the last 12-16 months that I don't care to go into here. (Although I will say that a second or even third opinion should always be considered before putting your body through the trauma of surgery and the long process of recovery.) What is this post about? I'm glad you asked. This is about gratitude.

It's been four months since my last surgery and at least a good month and half since I've limped on a regular basis. Most of the time, nobody knows anything happened and - honestly - I wasn't sure that would ever be the case again. Forgive me if this sounds overly dramatic, but I have recently begun to feel like I've been given my life back. For far too long, I couldn't do the things I wanted because I either physically couldn't or because it was simply too painful. I truly felt like my (relatively) young self had been replaced by an elderly, crotchety old woman. Let me tell you, it was pretty attractive.

And now? Now I'm back and I have a new found sense of gratitude for my resilient, capable body. It's been a long year, but I'm a better person for having gone though it and am so damn happy it's over. And I learned some valuable lessons while on crutches. For example, even though you can't admit it, sometimes it's nice to be pushed around in a wheelchair by your friends. Also, and this one really surprised me, you get a lot of attention from the opposite sex when you're crippled. So, to my single friends, I want to suggest renting a wheelchair sometime. Seriously. Kind of. Last, but not least, I learned to appreciate movement. In fact, I think I'll go for a walk now. Why? Because I can, folks, and that's a beautiful thing.

Samson's First Staycation. {One Night at Rumor.}

2011-09-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

Last week, my dearest friend, Carina, came for a visit. It was a very busy three days, especially considering I had to work while she was here, but we filled every available moment with all the fun and laughter we could muster. More on the Carina adventures to come, but first things first...

This post is all about our one night at Rumor Hotel.

Do you remember when I told you about my favorite spots in Vegas? Places you can't miss when you visit? Well, it was one of my favorite posts, but since writing it, I've fallen in love with a new place. Rumor Hotel is now where I send all my friends and family to stay when in town. It's a smaller boutique hotel with a Hollywood vibe, a hip style and impeccable service.

My favorite thing about Rumor? They love doggies! Jenner and I have been taking Samson to their biweekly "Yappy Hour" event where we can mingle with other dog owners and their furry friends all while enjoying yappetizer specials and doggy goodie bags. {Oh, and as an added bonus, I can't think of another place that affords the opportunity for Holly Madison to tell you your dog is cute. Thanks, Holly!}

So, when Carina and I started planning her Vegas trip, I was most excited to finally introduce her to her nephew, Samson. On the last night of her trip, we planned a little staycation at my new favorite hotel. Best part of our stay? For only $25 extra, Sammy was able to bunk with us for the night. And let me tell you, my little boy loved it.

I can't say enough good things about our time at Rumor. It really is the perfect place to take your most beloved companion. Not only did he get lots of attention, he was also able to roam freely in the hotel's dog park, relax with his mom in a hammock and even accompany us to breakfast the next morning.

So, the next time you're in Vegas, I urge you to consider staying at Rumor (whether or not you have a pup in tow...) And to Rumor, a BIG thank you for making Samson's first (but certainly not his last) hotel stay a great one. We'll definitely be back and the furry one will be bearing kisses. Beware.

Love, Loss and Humanity.

2011-09-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

This photo of a father remembering the son he lost on 9/11 took my breath away this morning.

On a different morning, ten years ago, the world - at least as we know it here in this country - was transformed by tragedy. My father had died just three months before the events that took place on September 11th. What I remember, more than anything, was the grief. The grief I carried in my heart was suddenly shared and reflected in every moment, by all of us. We had all lost a father, or a mother, or an innocence.

Like only the most unbearable of events can, this day instantly split everything into before and after.

Whatever this day meant to you ten years ago, and means to you now in the heartbreak of the after, let the outcome be love. An outpouring of love. We are here such a brief moment. Love the people around you. Love your father, your son, your innocence.

Out of our greatest tragedies, I believe our humanity is often born. Love your humanity today.

A Girl and Her Dog. {A Love Story.}

2011-09-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." - Anatole France.

I've written several love stories on the blog. The love story between a girl and her waxer. The love story between a special woman and her special gay man. I've even written my own love story.

Today I'm telling a different kind of story, a different kind of love story. The love between a girl and her dog.

If you know me - or have ever read my blog - you know how much I adore my Samson. I had wanted a puppy for what felt like forever and daydreamed about the day I would finally bring my own little furball home. What I hadn't known, however, was how much my love for my dog would transform my heart. From the day he became mine, I started to slow down, to notice the world around me in a different way. I became more patient, more loving, more playful. Bottom line, I'm a better person with this dog by my side. (And Jenner? Don't even get me started... Without a doubt, we have become the world's most ridiculous couple in the way we fawn over our pup and seeing him with our little guy has given me a whole new side to fall in love with.)

Thank you, Sammy, for making my heart feel like it will burst with love and, of course, for only barking once every three weeks. You're a rock star of a dog and I'm so happy you're mine.

"My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet." - Edith Wharton

The Latest Chapter.

2011-08-30T22:30:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends. Every now and again, I like to write a good ol' fashioned "here's what I've been up to" post to let my friends and family outside of Las Vegas know that, yes, I'm still around. So, here goes...

My biggest development as of late is that I have a new counseling job. I'm really, really, really excited about this opportunity and am feeling inspired and challenged already. Last week took me to gorgeous Couer d'Alene, ID for a few days of training with a coworker I'm already loving. I think this is going to be a great fit for me and the perfect place to launch the beginning of my new career. {Oh, and have I mentioned how excited I am to decorate my new office?!}

I am thrilled to report that, after close to a year, I have an almost entirely limp-free walk. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but - trust me - it is. Three surgeries in eight months took a big toll on my mobility and in July when my family was here, it really hit me how hard the simple act of walking had become. It was not only really painful, but also embarrassing to see people in their eighties pass me on The Strip. So, I made the decision that I needed to strengthen my foot and got myself to the gym at least three times a week. Six weeks later, my foot is getting better every day and I've managed to lose about ten pounds. Win, win.

What else? My best friend will be here two weeks from today for our now annual September Vegas visit. Remember last year? One of the best times of my life. I can't wait to introduce Samson to his Aunt Carina. Speaking of the puppy, I'm falling more and more in love with him on a daily basis. It takes almost everything in me to keep myself from posting pics of him on here every day.

I'm ending the month of August realizing just how much things have changed for the better in my life over the course of the summer. I'm a happy girl and I hope you are, too.

All You Need is Love.

2011-08-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes all you need is a weekend with one of your best friends, a few floats in the pool, a sing-a-long at your favorite piano bar, a couple of cocktails, a dance or two on the dance floor, an introduction between one of your oldest friends and your puppy and a whole lotta laughs.

All you need is love, really... I love you, Danny. Please come back to Vegas soon.

The Biggie Smalls to my Puff Daddy. {Happy Birthday!}

2011-08-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Happy, happy birthday to my girl, Carina. I've said it before, but you're the Biggie Smalls to my Puff Daddy, the Michelle to my Romy and the DJ Tanner to my Kimmie Gibbler. I wish I could be with you today, but am absolutely bursting with excitement to see you in a few weeks. I hope you have the most fantastic day. I love you, my sister.

My dreams are made of this.

2011-08-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

images via

Better Late Than Never. {When Exes Apologize.}

2011-08-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

Did anyone catch the second season premiere of Bachelor Pad this week? {It's okay. I know you planned your Monday evening around it and caught all three so-bad-they-were-good hours, but don't want to admit it. I completely understand and want you to know your secret is safe with me.} What did you think of Jake trying to make peace with his ex, Vienna? I know, I know. In the scheme of the game, it was probably a really bad move. I didn't notice many scenes with Jake in the "this season on Bachelor Pad" preview and can't help but think the uncoolest man in the history of the Bachelor franchise sealed his fate as the guy who goes home in the second episode with that little olive branch - er, rose - he handed the woman he was once engaged to.

Now call me a sucker (actually please don't, it's really not very nice), but I appreciated Jake's "I'm sorry I yelled at you on national television" speech. Sure, I don't know if it was part of his game strategy, a smart PR move or an emotion actually founded in sincerity and, honestly, I don't even care. Why? Because I am a firm believer in the art of the apology.

We've all been done wrong and, let's just keep it real here, we've all done our own share of wrong. In the game of love, nobody comes out completely innocent. I pride myself on being what I consider a pretty good person, but I've been guilty of being more careless with people's hearts than I should have on occasion. To find the love we've been waiting for, we have to say goodbye to people along the way. Sometimes these goodbyes are messy and often, without meaning to, we eff up our good intentions and leave people hurt. I may have never lost my cool in a televised interview, but if a camera had been around during a few of my heartbreaks, you damn well better believe I would have. So, the question is, what do we do after the dust settles and - maybe even years later - we realize we were unkind, unfair or selfish? Well, as we learned back in kindergarten, we apologize. We own up to our bad behavior and take responsibility.

A couple of months ago, I was on Facebook and found a message waiting for me. When I saw who the sender was, I gasped. It was from a fellow I had dated EIGHT years ago, a man that - although I consider myself a very forgiving person - I still referred to as "the devil." What in the hell was the devil doing messaging me? You got it. He was apologizing. And you know what? It felt good. I deserved it eight years ago, but - hey - better late than never.

The moral of this story? I know I had one... Oh, yeah. Apologize when necessary. Even if it's eight years later. Whether it costs you a reality television competition or just your pride, it's worth it. To Jake, I might be the only one saying it, but well played. To the man I used to call the devil, thanks. I hope you no longer wear socks with sandals. It really wasn't a good look.

The Dog Days of Summer.

2011-08-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

I hope your summer is going as well as my dog's. Wishing you lots of (puppy) love and sunshine!

On Being Kind & Fighting Hard Battles.

2011-08-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato

I've taken a little break from blogging this last month and a half-ish for no other reason than because I needed to turn inward. Tune everything around me out and focus on myself. Like a lot of you, I share my kindness easily and openly. I say hello to passing babies and dogs, smile warmly at older gentlemen with great hats, open the door for strangers and buy sandwiches for hungry people. What I'm not always so good at is sharing this same kindness with myself. This summer has been an experiment in doing it anyway.

You see, these have been a rough couple of months and I've had some hard battles to fight. But I am here to tell you that when you remind yourself over and over again that tomorrow will be better, tomorrow eventually finds you. And mine has found me. What did I do until it did? I put one foot in front of the other, I read a lot of books, I floated in the pool, I hugged my boyfriend, I cried on the phone to my mom and I walked my dog. That's right, I was kind and patient and loving. I was all the things to myself that I would be to a friend, a client or a stranger. And as kindness does, it worked.

What did I learn during this time? I'm glad you asked. I learned that even when we are at our most miserable, we remain resilient; I learned that joy is always around the next corner... or at least the one after that and I learned that I have one hell of a cute dog (see for yourself in the photo above).

So, let's stop moping around and get on with it, shall we? Great. See you back here soon. More blogging, good news and happiness to come.

The Beginning of the Beginning. {the dEeDLeS and Vegas}

2011-07-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, or possibly 3-ish years ago, the dEdDLeS took a trip to Vegas. Who are the dEeDLeS, you ask? Well, for a long time it was just me and my friend Katie. We met when we were 21 and selling clothes at the Bon Marche (you know, before the Bon became Macy's). The stars aligned, yada yada, and she became my partner in crime. There's no one in this world who I know for sure would break me out of jail if I ever needed it, except her. Oh, and the trouble we've caused... I'm not even going there on this one, but that girl is pretty much single handily responsible for the fact that I'll never look back on my younger years and wish I had lived more.

Then we met Todd. He and I bonded over our love of Weeds and, from that first day, we were friends. Fast forward two years, and a love of scary movies, sushi, MGMT and Bud Light Limes had cemented all of our bond. As Katie's 30th birthday was approaching, she and I tried to think of a big way to mark the milestone. After nixing a trip to Miami, we settled on Vegas, a place we were both pretty much over, but decided to give one last shot.

Then, two nights before our departure to what is now my home, a decision was made that changed everything. While I was house sitting on Mercer Island, I invited my two friends over for drinks and an in living room dance party. Katie did her old lady dance, I got down on the ground and did the bicycle and Todd, well, I think he just egged us on. Then I heard those fateful words come out of Katie's mouth... "Todd, do you want to come with us to Vegas?" Now, honestly, and let's just keep it real here, I thought my friend had lost her damn mind. I mean, sure, I loved Todd, but invite him to Vegas? Seemed like a crazy idea and I told her the next morning that she should think of a polite way to revoke the invitation. But no, Katie convinced me it would be fun and since it was her birthday and since Todd can pretty much make me laugh harder than any other person in this world, I relented. And you know what? It was the most. fun. ever.

Our first night, after some pool and dance time, took us on a ghost tour of Vegas. Yep, you read that right. And, yes, that's just an orb on top of my head in the above picture or, as we like to call it, a ghost hat. I can honestly say, Todd (or as we later dubbed him, "TED!") had us rolling all night long and I don't think I have ever laughed harder. At one point, the tour guide pointed to Katie and me and said he'd like to be on whatever we were. Sorry, mister. We were just high on life... and TED giggles.

This trip to Vegas changed my life. In more than one way. Not only did it cement a move to the desert less than a year later with a charming Las Vegan, it also did in two days, what two years hadn't been able to do before. It made us a trio. Somewhere between floating down the lazy river, dragging that damn orange floatie everywhere we went and having the best meal of our lives, we invited Todd to become the third member of the dEeDLeS.

Three years later, we're all coupled off and only two of us now reside in the rain, but - through and through - we are the dEeDLeS. (I would explain just how that name came to be, but the story honestly doesn't translate very well without an accompanying song. So, just ask me some time. You'll get a kick out of it.) I was just telling a friend the other day that my friendship with Todd has made me a firm believer that men and women can be friends. With a shared adoration of Jennifer Aniston, Huey Lewis, Rock Band and fuzzy pumas, Todd just may be my biggest fan and his friendship has made my whole life better. And Katie? As I texted her last night, "You and I could be in a room of people we either don't know or that even don't like us and, together, we would be having the time of our lives."

So, there you have it. The beginning of the beginning... of the dEeDLeS and so much more. Katie and TED, let me know about that reunion. It's about damn time. Love you two.

It Springs Eternal, Still.

2011-07-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

we all find ourselves in this place, the place with the sunless skies. but we put one heavy foot in front of the other and we wait for the clouds to break knowing that, by this time tomorrow, things will be better. because things always get better. you just have to hold out.

{thank you for the kind words.}

Lost.

2011-07-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

If there were words, I would write them.

{image found here}

I Heart Happiness... and Jennifer Aniston.

2011-06-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

Like Britney before her, Jennifer Aniston is restoring my faith in the universe. (And as much as I love me some Britney, we all know Jen's my girl.) Yes, Justin Theroux is a bit of an odd choice (although I find him somewhat sexy in a smart, refreshing, aging hipster way) and one probably none of us could have predicted. (Um, the guy played two different characters on SATC during seasons one and two and I take personal offense to that, HBO. Didn't you realize we were paying attention?) Sure, the jury is still out on whether or not Jen pulled an Angie and came between this guy and his girlfriend of 14 years, but... I think we can all agree that we haven't seen Ms. Aniston look this happy since, dare I say it..., Brad. And happiness looks really good on her. Oh, and on you, too.

Happy Friday!

Saying Goodbye to Rusty.

2011-06-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

From the bottom of my heart, I believe some people come into our lives for a reason. I'm starting to realize I believe this about animals, as well.

Last week, my family not only lost a trusted and faithful companion, but what we truly lost was one of our own. Rusty, our 15 year old golden retriever, left us on a beautiful, warm day on a blanket out on the lawn with my mother and a very kind vet by his side. It was something that had been coming for a very long time and yet, when my mom told me over the phone, it took my breath away. You see, Rusty wasn't just a dog, wasn't even just my furry brother, he was one of us. Rusty came into our lives and transformed us with love.

Let me start at the beginning. I have said this before, but I am not what someone would describe as a dog person. It's not that I don't like them, in fact I love many of them including my own little canine man, but I don't adore all dogs. I just don't. Nothing to be done about it. However, when our family collie, Sugar, passed away, there was always something missing. Fast forward a few years and my sisters and I convinced my parents they needed a golden retriever puppy. I fought especially hard for this. After some investigation on my sister Monica's part, Rusty was found. (He was three years old, but - trust me - he was a puppy and he remained one until he was at least nine.) I'll never forget the day I met him. He came bounding into my sister's house with an energy I had never, ever seen before and, in a flash, was up on the bed, up the stairs, down the stairs, on the couch, off the couch, circling the dining table and outside. All while wagging his tail, smiling and barking, as if he was saying, "I knew it! I knew you were my family!" Now, let me tell you, Rusty was a handful those first few years. No two ways about it. There was a very small amount of time when my parents wondered if they were up to the challenge of raising Rusty, but to know this redheaded boy was to love him and in a matter of weeks, my parents' hearts melted. As much as they both loved him (we all did), however, he was truly my dad's best friend. Everywhere my dad went, Rusty could be found trailing close behind him.

Two years later, my father died and Rusty became the man of the house. I realize how ridiculous that sounds (and it does), but I think my dad's closeness to Rusty made us all feel closer to the person we had lost. Just a few days after his death, my father came to me in a dream (and like most therapists, I take dreams pretty seriously). I was sitting in the living room and looked over and noticed my dad sitting on the floor petting Rusty. I said, "Dad, what are you doing here?!" and he looked at me and said with a smile, "Honey, where else could I possibly be?"

In the years that followed, Rusty provided a kind of comfort and joy that helped all of my family, but especially my mom. He came into our lives at a time when we couldn't have needed him more and I can honestly say I can't imagine there was ever a better companion.

A few days ago, I woke to an email from my lovely mother. In it, she wrote about a dream she had the night before. These are her words: "It was about a little dog who had been rescued by a couple. He had some kind of health problem, but he was so endearing. From somewhere, music began to play and this little creature began to wiggle across the floor, doing dance movements that were absolutely filled with joy. There were all of us, standing and watching, wildly clapping and laughing to see his joy. I think that must have been Rusty letting us know he's now able to dance again and telling us he is joyful in the place he is."

I couldn't love my mother anymore than I do. Not even the tiniest bit more.

And, Rusty, my sweet, sweet boy, I couldn't have loved you anymore than I did - none of us could have. You were the best dog I have ever known and I can never thank you enough for taking care of Mom the way you did. I wouldn't have my own puppy now if it hadn't been for you and, like you did before him, Samson has changed me with his unconditional love. A dog trainer once called you "a scholar and a gentleman" and it was true. Thank you for bringing in the paper every single night and never forgetting to bring me my shoes (even if you wouldn't always let go of them). I hope you are playing ball with my dad up in heaven now, but I also know that you'll find a way to be with us, too. Because, really, where else would you be?

You will be loved forever, Rusty.

Love, Las Vegas & Photographs.

2011-06-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I excitedly ran out to the mailbox to find a CD waiting for me from Kim with the remaining photos from our shoot. I am in love with these pictures, not only because they capture such authentic, little moments between Jenner and me, but because they also give a beautiful glimpse of Las Vegas. (A big thank you, thank you, thank you to Kim and Andre.) If you are ever in need of a photographer that will immediately put you at ease and capture the real - but best possible version of - you, be sure to contact her.

What Has Remained.{Losing My Dad 10 Years Ago.}

2011-06-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

10 years ago today, we lost my dad. This experience changed me (and my family), acutely and instantly, forever. This is the third tribute I've written for him here since I started my blog, each written on June 3rd, although he's touched so much of everything I've written. And just as I did one and two years ago, I have decided just to open my laptop this afternoon, with no plan of what to write, and see what comes - what has remained.

My dad picked out my very favorite dress I've ever had, a baby blue and white striped number I wore in kindergarten. He made the most fantastic chocolate milkshakes. He cried in the movie Beethoven, but I'm not sure if I should admit that here. He sometimes called my sister and me "Tiger", but called one of my best friends, Danny, "Mona Lisa." He believed in equality and didn't understand why our gay family friends couldn't marry. As much as he loved my sisters and me, I think he may have loved my mom best of all. She was his best friend, and very favorite person, and when she went to the south to visit her family for two weeks every year, he almost couldn't take it. If my dad was still around today, I can promise you that he would still hate the first boy who broke my heart. He did a dance I now do for my little kid clients called "the happy dance" every time I brought home a good grade or a scholastic achievement of some kind. I held him at my grandmother's funeral as he quietly sobbed. He always brought me home circus peanuts. When I admitted in high school that I was really depressed, he took me in his arms and told me how much he loved me. He built the most beautiful homes that still make me proud to drive past. He wrote me a letter every week I was in Africa (sure, my mom made him, but it was still sweet) and in one told me that he would always be with me. I will treasure that letter forever. When I gave him the first story I ever wrote, he cried and said, "For a girl who swears as much as you, you sure have a beautiful way with words." When he was in the hospital, before he died, I told him he was the only dad I had and that I needed him. He told me he would do everything he could to make it and I know how hard he must have tried. Even though he wasn't able to, I know he's here with me - and all of us in the family - a part of him surviving, remaining, always. My dad.

What I know for sure, after all this, is that time is fleeting and our time with the ones we love the most is far, far too short. Make the most of the time you have now because, someday, you too will cry to your best friend, "Where has the time gone?" Life is sometimes unbearable and always unbearably short, but what I know for sure is that the love survives. After everything else is gone, love is what remains.

I love you, Dad. Today, yesterday, ten years ago, ten year from now, always.

Samson, the Daily Puppy.

2011-05-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, May 22nd, Samson was crowned The Daily Puppy. What's that, you ask? Well, The Daily Puppy is a website devoted to the art and love of nothing but puppies. In fact, with just one trip to their site, you'll have fulfilled your entire "recommended daily allowance of puppies." It's true. I have known of the Daily Puppy for years, but have been an avid devotee, if you will, since I added their free app to my iPhone and have clicked it every day since to see the puppy of the day. When I worked as a nanny for a two and four year old a few months back, we would check out the star puppy of the day every time I was there just to ooh and ahh. I knew that when I someday got my own puppy, I would submit he or she to The Daily Puppy.

Then along came Samson. On the night of Friday the 20th, a month and a half after Samson came into our home, I submitted him. (It took me as long as it did because it took a while to acquire enough photos that met The Daily Puppy's strict guidelines.) By Sunday, our little boy was the puppy of the day and I couldn't have been any more proud.

Please check him out here. You can read his bio and see that he inherited his love of writing from his mother and his great hair from his dad. You can even give him your vote by clicking on up to eleven biscuits to give him. As a favor to me, will you please go and do that now? I'll wait.

In honor of my little guy's big achievement, I want to take a moment to share my love for him in the way I like to share my love most, in words.

Dear Samson,

From the moment I saw you and your furry brothers, I fell in love. Honestly, I had never seen anything cuter. When your dad chose you and they put you in my arms, I kept saying over and over again, "I just couldn't be any happier right now." That first night, although I had big plans of you sleeping in a crate next to our bed, I pulled you next to me to cuddle. I sensed that you needed me just as much as I had been needing you. From that night to this, that's where I have always wanted you - right next to me. You came into my life at a time when things had been very sad and, in an instant, you brightened every corner. You've given me a reason to jump out of bed each morning with a smile on my face and race through the front door every night after work. You have brought your dad and I even closer and turned us into the weirdest couple in the world who love nothing more than lounging in bed rubbing your tummy. Thank you for becoming the best little companion I could ever have hoped for, thank you for having the cutest dang face I've ever seen and thank you for still not knowing you can bark at four months old. As you know, I love you.

Xoxo - Your mama

This is Us.

2011-05-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it's the little moments you want captured. The small gestures. The quiet spaces of time. Messy hair on a windy day. A handsome puppy. A comfortable couple. A talented photographer. Sitting on my favorite blanket in the park with my two favorite boys. This, right here, is us. Our little family.

Thank you, Kim, for truly capturing us. (Happy birthday, sweet lady! We love you.)

The End of an (Oprah) Era.

2011-05-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today is the day I have been dreading for a year now, the last day the Oprah Winfrey show will air. Two days ago, while at physical therapy, a group of us were glued to the screen with tears rolling down our faces as we shared our feelings about saying goodbye to the woman who has become all of our best friend, our sister, our aunt and the person we have all aspired to be.

It hit me that afternoon that, like so many of us, this show has been a staple throughout my entire life. When the woman next to me asked how long I had been watching, I answered, "Since I was eight." At my reply, the kind woman's face lit up as she exclaimed, "You've been watching the show since it first started! Your entire life!" It hadn't hit me until that moment, but it's true. I have been watching Oprah all of my life, or at least for as long as I can remember. Now I will readily admit here that I may not have been your average little girl. When other kids got off the bus and jumped on their bikes to ride to the park, I raced home by 4:00 every afternoon to hear what used to be the intro to Oprah, "Boop boop boo boo boop boop." (Just thinking about that tune brings tears to my eyes.)

In a small town that had next to no exposure to what was beyond our little county lines, Oprah showed me the world. Exposing me to issues of diversity, prejudice and awareness, Oprah inspired me to stand up for the things I believed in. As cheesy as it may sound, and I fully recognize that it indeed does, Oprah and her show are part of why I am the person I am today and I know I'm not alone in feeling this same way. Since I moved to Vegas, I haven't been as avid a viewer as I used to be (I'm sorry, but 2:00 is just too early for Oprah), but as I told my sister the other day, "I just like knowing she's on even if I can't watch her."

I have the very strong suspicion that I will soon be the owner of many an Oprah boxed DVD set, but - for me - Ms. Winfrey will always be playing in my heart come four o'clock. To Oprah herself, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Without you, none of us would know how to distinguish the "ugly cry" or realize that Tom Cruise truly is a crazy couch jumper. Thank you, not only for 25 years of entertainment, but for igniting the desire in all of us to be better, to be kinder, to listen harder, to give more and to dream bigger. There will never be another like you.

For the Love of Hair. {You Want This Flat Iron. Trust Me}

2011-05-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

Let me say first that this post is long overdue and I whole-heartedly apologize to the LOVELY folks at Misikko for graciously sending me the amazing HANA Professional Flat Iron pictured below. A few months ago, I received an email from the owner of Misikko offering to send me a flat iron to try out. The deal was that if I liked my new hair tool, I would spread the word. So, here I am, months later, spreading the word. (Recovering from ankle surgery made me a little late in posting this review, but please know that my tardiness should not take away from how much I love my new flat iron.)

I want to first say that I adore blogging and do it solely for my love of writing. The fact that I have made some amazing friendships through keeping a blog and reading others is just the icing on top. When I first got the email from Misikko, I was delighted, but - honestly - I was unsure. The last thing I would ever want to do is accept something in exchange for a review and then feel obligated to say something that didn't represent my true feelings.

Luckily for me, my worries were for nothing because as soon as I whipped my new toy out of the box (which was loaded with flowers, goodies and beauty samples), I knew I was in love. It is, by far, the best flat iron I've ever tried. And, let me tell you, it is not easy for a flat iron to win me over because I identify with having wavy and sometimes even curly hair. (I'm sure this has something to do with the fact that my mom permed my hair twice a year EVERY year from the time I was five until I could tell her where to shove those spiral rods... Love you, Mama.) Even when I get my hair done at the salon (you know Globe is the only place I take these tresses), I ask them not to use the flat iron because I want to leave recognizing myself. This iron, however, changed everything. For one of the first times ever, I looked in the mirror and loved seeing myself with straight hair. It was fantastic. I wasn't the only one who loved my new tool, however. You see, the weekend I first tried out my HANA iron, my sister and best friend were in town and wanted in on the (hair) action. Let me tell you, they absolutely LOVED it. In fact, they have been bugging me ever since to give my present to them. Um, I'm sorry, but no.

(Look how happy!)

The next time you're on the lookout for a new styling tool for your hair, I urge you to check out Misikko. They are a family run business (I love supporting that) and are truly just the nicest people. Nice people who sell great products. To the people at Misikko, thank you, thank you! To you, happy hair!

A Star is Born.

2011-05-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, our good friends Kim and Andre joined us in Vegas (via Hollywood) for an evening of photos and fun. Jenner and I met this darling couple last year when, on our first date, we went to the Phoenix concert. We knew immediately that we really liked them and, ever since, it's been a love affair. On this trip, we were lucky enough to take part in a fun photo shoot with the very talented Kim and her partner (in crime), Andre. Although it was crazy windy that day and I was limping pretty hard, the giggles didn't stop all night. One thing that made this trip especially fun is that Jenner and I got to introduce our little boy, Samson, and he even got to partake in the modeling. I think it's pretty clear that he's a natural. I'm hoping that after his first successful shoot, his new found fame doesn't go to his head. I'm also hoping it doesn't go to mine. Let's be honest, I think there might be a stage mom inside my just dying to get out.

A BIG thanks to Kim and Andre, not only for the photos, but for the friendship and the fun. I can't wait to see the photos of Jenner and I together and will be sure to share some here down the road. To see the rest of Samson's photos, as well as Kim's amazing work, click here. We love you guys.

Saying Goodbye to the Soaps.{The Post My Mother Shouldn't See.}

2011-05-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

Last month, when it was announced that both All My Children and One Life to Live were being canceled, I felt like I had just received news that an old friend was in the hospital. Sure, I haven't watched either one of those programs in a good 15 years, but I have had a long (and very secret... until now) love affair with soap operas. And, like so many things, I blame this on my mother. (Just kidding, Mama. I only blame you for this one and the fact that I can never have short hair again thanks to that hideous 'do you had me sport for the first six years of my - seemingly gender confused - childhood.) Even my best friend, who hasn't seen a soap since our daily Days of our Lives habit back in college, said to me, "Is this for real? Are we being punk'd?!" I told her I honestly wasn't sure. Soap operas have been a television institution since long before we were born. So, let's start this story there, at the beginning. At my beginning.

Although my grandmother was a loyal fan of The Young and the Restless (a show that has very recently made a brief return to my life thanks to my newest girlfriend, Lindsey), my mom didn't allow me to watch soaps, end of story. This was non-negotiable and, let me tell you, when my mother means something, she damn well means it. In her eyes, these shows were "trashy" and she didn't want her daughters being negatively influenced by them. Let me interject here that my mother is an AMAZING mom and we are usually on the same page for most issues. However, my mom didn't understand then what seems pretty darn obvious now (sorry, Ma). If you tell your kids they can't do something, they are going to find a way to at least check out said taboo something. She told me the same thing about tabloids and I've been hooked since I was in junior high. So, I'm basically going to tell my future eighteen year old daughter to run off to Paris with a handsome man twice her age because, as far as I can tell, that's the only way to get your kids not to do something.

Back to soaps... Even as a little girl, I knew how to break the rules. Sure, I wasn't supposed to watch these shows at home, but my mother never said specifically that I couldn't watch them in other houses. Cue my far more sophisticated cousins. Thanks to them, Days of our Lives was introduced to my second grade self and my first crush, Bo Brady, was born and everything changed.

However, with the exception of trips to see my cousins, I had to remain sullenly soap free at home. That is until I got sick for one glorious week in the sixth grade and was left in the care of my hearing challenged grandfather who was busy watching Judge Wapner in the next room. That was the wonderful week I fell in love with All My Children and Tad and Dixie, unbeknownst to my mother. Later in the year, I even managed to convince my mother to record Tad and Dixie's wedding under the guise that it was for a friend. I still don't know how I pulled that one off, but if you know my mother then you know that, although she tried, she failed at working the VCR for just one of hundreds of times to come. (Again, I love you, Mom.)

Not long after, I found One Life to Live and fell madly in love with Joe Lando and his mullet. I could probably still cry thinking about him (as Jake) holding Megan as she died in the hospital.

A few years later, I sauntered over to Port Charles while discovering General Hospital and the straight up hottie that was Antonio Sabato Jr. as Jagger Cates. Swoon.

My love for him was only replaced by my love of one of his loves, Brenda Barrett. Ooh, and Brenda and Sonny. And Brenda and Jax. Oh, and then there was that one time with Brenda and Jason. And then Brenda and Sonny again. To this day, when Vanessa Marcil returns to GH as Brenda, I'll start watching ABC at 2:00 again even if only for a few months.

Before I graduated high school, I gave up sneaking ABC soaps and made a triumphant return to NBC for Days of our Lives just in time to see Marlena possessed by the devil in what has to be the best (and most ridiculous) storyline in the history of daytime television. I got all my friends hooked on this one and we all rushed back from class in college to see what kind of trouble Sami was causing in Salem. I still catch DOOL from time to time and I'm pretty sure the only thing that takes longer than sands through the hourglass is that show wrapping up a storyline. Moving on... A few years later, I (and I admit this with a certain amount of shame) even took up the very guilty pleasure, Passions. I like to blame this on my nanny years because, c'mon, a girl has to have something to do when the babies are napping, right? This soap took hilarity to a whole new level. Remember Timmy the doll who came to life and drank martinis he called marTimmys? You don't? Well, you missed out, friends. You. Missed. Out.

And there you have it, my history with soaps. I'm sad to see this television tradition slowly become extinct. For so many people - watching these shows five days a week, sometimes for 30+ years - these characters became like family. Heck, I usually share Thanksgiving dinner with the Hortons over in Salem before I have my own with my family. So, to All My Children and One Life to Live, you will be missed. Oh, and Erica Kane, you'll never be forgotten.

{PS - Contrary to my mother's concerns, watching daytime television never made me want to fake my own pregnancy, steal my sister's husband or come back from the grave with a mysterious case of amnesia.}

On the Upswing.

2011-05-04T09:30:00.000-07:00

Going into 2011, I remember thinking that I had made it through the hard part. Wow, that was really naive, huh? The first few months of this year were not only harder than all of 2010 (which was, bottom line, a really rough year), but were made of some of the hardest moments of my life. There were so many times I thought to myself, "It's just one thing after another." Luckily, my wise mother's words would then pop into my head, "Honey, that's what life is. One thing after another." My deepest hope is that, armed with my mom's wisdom, I survived those dark times with some small fraction of strength, resilience, grace and humor.

And I am here to tell you that things are looking up. (Better late than never, right?) Below are just a few of the things putting a very big smile on my face these days.

- Starting my new career. After all the hoop jumping of the last two years, I am now what Nevada considers a licensed clinical professional counseling intern (I hate that term because most people don't associate an intern with a person who has their MA degree, but whatever, Nevada. Whatever.). I finally have the job I've always wanted at a great company working with children. Finally, I can write down that I am a children's therapist, officially. Not only will I be doing individual therapy with kids, I will also be running three therapy groups for little ones ages 3-5. How cool is that? My education, combined with my years and years as a nanny, makes this a really natural next step. Icing on the cake? The pay is great. Not everyone can say that who works in mental health and I feel very blessed and excited to start digging myself out of my pile of medical bills and student loans. More than that, however, I am so passionate about what I will be doing. Waking up these days, I'm so inspired and just bursting with excitement.

- I don't know if I've mentioned this on the blog, but in January, I started a very part-time nanny gig helping out a mama with then eight month old twin girls. Fast forward a few months and that mama has become my closest friend in Vegas and her daughters have become my surrogate nieces. I am so incredibly grateful that this family came into my life when they did. They have filled a void in my heart that has been empty and gathering cobwebs since I left my family to move here.

- While this isn't for sure, there is talk about fixing up our little condo and, wait for it..., replacing the green shag carpet. Um, do I even need to say how excited I am about this?? I didn't think so. There is almost nothing I love more than decorating and I haven't been able to indulge that side of myself since I left Seattle.

- Bloggers in Sin City is coming up. This lovely girl is coming to visit and fun photo shoots are planned for what should be a fantastic few days. One of my closest friends, Kristin Funk, is planning a June Vegas visit and I can't even tell you how freaking excited I am. There is even a trip to Hawaii being discussed for the boy and me this summer. Throw in a much needed drive to the beach and a trip home to snuggle some little boys and I am one happy gal. Still working on those last two, but I'm confident they will happen in the very near future.

- Last, but not least, my puppy has discovered the love of the Starbucks puppachino (which is really just a fancy, cute word for whipped cream in a cup). When we introduced his new addiction to him this weekend, it was, hands down, the best few minutes of his life so far. Just watching him dive face first into whipped cream made me deliriously giddy which, honestly, is how my puppy almost always makes me feel. Bringing this furry little boy home was one of the best decisions I've ever made. He has improved the quality of my life in indescribable ways.

Here's hoping that things are looking up in your world, too!

First Family Photo.

2011-05-01T21:45:00.000-07:00

There is just no way to properly describe how happy this furry little boy makes my boyfriend, Jenner, and me. We often turn to each other and wonder whatever we did before Samson. He has turned our little condo - chalk full of potty pads, teething toys, two crates, stuffed animals, random pieces of dog food and balls - into a home.

Best. Photo. Ever. {The Royal Wedding & Why I'm So Tired.}

2011-04-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

I am not typically the gal to swoon over weddings. However, when I was a (very) little girl, I remember watching parts of Princess Diana's wedding at my babysitter's house. I assumed I was six or seven at the time, but it dawned on me recently that I was only three years old. Quite a memory, huh? Last night, Jenner and I packed our bags and our little furry baby and spent the night at his mom's. At around midnight (the time I'm usually just dozing off for the night), I squealed in delight when I saw that the (very cheesy) William and Kate Lifetime movie was on On Demand. After I finished that masterpiece (um, or not), I took a little nap with my puppy only to be woken by Jenner when Kate began her very long walk down the aisle. From her Princess Grace inspired dress to my favorite part, the tree lined aisles of Westminster Abbey, I loved sitting there - 30 years after watching my first royal wedding - with my two loves (the puppy and the boyfriend) watching this modern day fairytale unfold. Oh, and I can't wait to take a nap later this afternoon. Hopefully the adorable and hilarious little girl in the photo gets in her nap today, too.

Missing Seattle.

2011-04-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

As you know, I am from Washington. Born and raised, through and through. For the first 18 years of my life, I grew up in a (very, very) small WA beach town, then spent a few years in Olympia going to school and lived out the bulk of my twenties in my beloved Seattle. I love everything about this city except for the lack of sunshine and going home, even to the rain, makes me happier than almost anything else. My last trip home was in February, but life has been pretty crazy since I returned (funny how recovering from surgery can make everything else seem just a little less important) and haven't found the time until now to dedicate a post solely to my time in Seattle. One of the reasons I didn't want to just forgo this post is because these photos (mostly taken by my lovely photographer boyfriend) are some of my all time favorites. And, as great photos do, I think they pretty much speak for themselves.

My VERY favorite part of going home is spending time with my nephews. The first night Jenner and I got into Seattle, we met up with my brother-in-law Michael, Max (now just barely 7) and Jude (3). We walked to the kid-friendly pub up the street, a place I've had countless dinners and beers surrounded by family and friends over the last ten years. Sitting there, with my four favorite boys in the world, eating salmon tacos and sharing a pitcher of beer, I was in heaven.

The next night, we met up with our Vegas friends and one of our favorite couples, Ben and Joanne, who had moved to Seattle last summer. We caught a band, the Smith Westerns, at The Crocodile (a place that housed so many of my single Seattle girl memories). We danced, we laughed and we enjoyed Vegas in Seattle.

The next day was probably my favorite of the trip. I spent the first part of the afternoon playing tour guide and showing Jenner a couple of spots I thought he would really like. We made our first stop at the famous Fremont Troll, had sustainable sandwiches (only in Seattle) for lunch and then toured the Hale's Ales Brewery.

We then picked up my older nephew Max for a special afternoon just for him. An Auntie date. I told Max this would include three things: chocolate milk, candy and a trip to the top of the Space Needle. Um, needless to say, the boy was sold. At one point, while leaving the candy shop, he exclaimed, "This is the BEST day ever, Auntie!" Other highlights of our time together included Max singing "Auntie, you're a firework!" and asking Jenner if he wanted to marry me. When Jenner told him yes and I asked him if he would want to be in my wedding if I got married someday, he said, "Of course, you're my Auntie! Duh!" I honestly could not love that kid any more than I do. (Oh, and the night before, Jenner was telling a joke about me ending up in jail and Max dramatically threw his arms around me and said, "You would be the one to go to jail, Jenner! My Auntie is harmless!")

That night, we had a pizza/Dance Central party with the rest of the fam, including both of my amazing sisters, Debby and Monica, my brother-in-law and his brother, Brian, his wife, Yen, and five of the cutest kids you can imagine. Nights in my sister's basement playing either Rock Band or now Dance Central are among my favorite nights in the world. Surrounded by family, kids climbing on and off my lap, and laughter late into the night. Life doesn't get much better.

A MUST when I go home is playing online fashion games with my niece Audrey and any other kid in the family who wants to join in (it is not unusual to have all five huddled around my laptop telling me which outfit looks best on which girl). I am so incredibly lucky to have such a strong bond with all the little people in my family. They are, without a doubt, the people who make my heart the most full. This last photo of my nephew Jude and me is, hands down, one of my very favorites. That three year old little boy who likes to dress up as a princess literally attacking me with love? The picture perfectly describes our relationship.

The next day, my sis, her husband, the two boys, Jenner and I headed up to Snoqualmie for a day of sledding (with a couple of hours dedicated to Max's ski lesson). I haven't been sledding since the fifth grade and only Carina knows what a special day that was to me (sledding down a hill with the boy you like makes an eleven year old girl very happy) and this day topped even that one.

This trip home was just what I needed during what ended up being a pretty rough patch. I am so blessed to have a family that I not only think of as some of my favorite people in the world, but also as my chosen best friends. The last few days, I have really, really been missing home and can't wait to make another trip soon. To my family, I love you so much more than I can say. Thank you for making me smile like no one else.

My Life Lately.

2011-04-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

For the last few months, I have been using the free app, Instagram. It's a great social networking tool (somewhat like Twitter, but instead of 140 characters or less, you simply post your photos) that allows you to put your pictures through different filters and create little masterpieces for your memories. If you haven't tried it yet, I urge you to. (My username is kathleenparkerb - find me and we can be friends!)

This post is a collection of my memories from the last few months via Instagram photos. Just looking at them makes me happy.

This is my life, lately.

The Little Prince Comes Home.

2011-04-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

On Saturday afternoon, the little prince, Samson Muhapi, finally came home. He had been at the Tropicana Animal Hospital, on IVs and in isolation, since late Monday morning fighting the deadly puppy virus, parvo. Because I spent a good 24+ hours researching this virus online and tirelessly searching for parvo success stories, I feel compelled to add our story here to serve not only as a warning for just how serious the parvovirus is, but also to offer some hope for people in the midst of this fight searching - as I did - for some happy endings.

Let's start at the beginning... I found Samson through an ad on Craigslist. Although I had wanted to rescue a puppy from a shelter, I was having a hard time finding just the dog I wanted. I attempted to bring home several cocker spaniels from California (my girl, Liz, was even planning on meeting one for me), but many shelters only allow people in the same county to adopt their animals just in case something goes wrong and the adopter needs to return their new pet. Jenner and I both didn't feel right buying an animal from a pet store because so many of them come from puppy mills and my dog loving boyfriend convinced me not to give a small fortune to a breeder. Even though finding the new member of our family on Craigslist didn't seem ideal, I quickly realized that many people who can't keep their pets use this site to find good homes for their fur babies.

When I found the ad featuring Sammy and two of his brothers, I knew I had to meet this dog. From the moment I saw his photo, he captured my heart. I immediately texted the owner and learned that he and his wife had both of Sammy's parents, Mimi and Poppy, as pets and although they wanted to keep each of the puppies, they couldn't. They told me that he had received his first parvo shot and was healthy and playful. Last weekend, Jenner and I met with the owners, Luis and Elizabeth, and the three puppies. Luis handed me one (very, very sweet) puppy and Jenner another. Both were so adorable, I was at a complete loss. I felt like I did when I was a little girl and didn't want to hurt the feelings of any of my stuffed animals. Jenner told me that he thought the one he was holding was our guy and because he was so beautiful, I agreed. And that was that. We took Samson and a copy of his proof of parvo vaccination and headed home as a family.

Looking back, something was very wrong from the beginning. Sammy didn't have the energy I was expecting, but since I had never had a puppy before I chalked it up to him missing his dog mama and family. Although he ate that first night, he didn't eat again the entire next day. I now know that his depression was a sign of parvo and once he started having regular bouts of diarrhea, I became very worried. I called the vet that second day and he told me to come in the next morning if things hadn't improved. When we woke up the next day and Samson's stool looked (sorry) like mucus, I googled this symptom. I read that if this type of stool is accompanied by depression, lethargy and a refusal to eat or drink, it is time to immediately head to the vet. And that we did. We were very lucky to have Dr. Renee Lewis as our vet and I can't say enough good things about her here. When I hugged her right before we took Sammy home, she said, "I've talked to you more than my mom this week." You and me both, Dr. Lewis.

Six days, five nights and a whole lotta money later, Samson recovered, but I wouldn't wish this on any animal or their owner. The entire week was heartbreaking and I can honestly tell you that I was beside myself. Knowing that something was very wrong with my new baby and sensing that he needed me, I held Sammy for almost all of those first two days. This created an incredibly strong bond between the two of us and seeing this little boy suffer was almost more than I could handle. During those awful two days, Samson was no longer a pet and I was no longer his owner. Instead, he was simply a living being, just like me, in pain. My poor boyfriend had probably never seen me this upset and for six days I slept with my fingers crossed, repeatedly asked my dad to pull some strings upstairs and carried around my new puppy's beloved stuffed ducky everywhere I went (to work, to the bathroom, you name it, that duck went with me).

The survival rate for this disease isn't great, but without hospitalization, nearly 90% of infected puppies will die. What I want to get across with this post, more than anything else, is that this virus hits hard and hits fast. If your puppy is showing any of the signs I've mentioned (even if they've been vaccinated for parvo), you have to get them to the vet immediately because this virus kills quickly. I contacted the people I got Sammy from as soon as I learned his diagnosis and both remaining puppies were showing signs of the virus, as well. Unfortunately, the sweet little puppy I held that first day and considered bringing home with me died two days later.

For those of you that stumble across this post someday because your dog is fighting the parvovirus, let me tell you, there is hope. If you caught it early enough and got your pet to the hospital for 24 hour care, he or she has a good chance of beating this ugly disease. However, if you caught it early, your pup still has to progress through the virus and it will get worse before it gets better. Don't give up; your pet needs you.

As for Samson, it looks like we got our rescue dog after all. We are so lucky to have had the opportunity to save this sweet animal (with the help of Jenner's amazing mother - I can never, ever thank her enough). Luckily for him, the little puppy we brought home is very different than the puppy I left at the vet. It's been so fun to see him act like the energetic pup he was too sick to be before. He's still on antibiotics and has some recovering left to do but what I know for sure is that he's a fighter. He won't be able to be around other vaccinated adult dogs for a couple of weeks and can't be with other puppies or go to dog parks, beaches, etc. for a few months (parvo is spread through a sick dog's feces and Samson will still be contagious for a little while). Don't worry, though, we keep him busy around here with all the snuggling, kissing and playing he can take. He may just end up being the world's most spoiled dog, but I'm okay with that. We're just so happy to have him home with us. We weren't a family without our little guy.

Last, but not least, a BIG thank you to all of you who kept Sammy in your hearts. Without a doubt, the support of my loved ones helped me get through this. And, not to worry, just a small town girl is not becoming a dog blog, contrary to these last few posts. Here's hoping you find the time to give your furry friends a little extra love today. As much as they need us, I think we may just need them even more.

Puppy Prayers, Please.

2011-04-11T19:21:00.000-07:00

In the last month, my heart has hurt more than I ever could have imagined for puppies. First, for Lucy and now for Samson.

I'm afraid, friends, that our precious pup is sick. We now know that he was ill before we even brought him home, but he didn't show any symptoms until yesterday. I thought he may have been missing his dog mama and siblings and that was the reason he seemed down and only had the energy to be cuddled. I called the vet last night and he suggested we keep an eye on him and bring him in this morning if he hadn't improved. Because he hadn't, I took him in this morning and learned that Sammy has the parvovirus (even though he had been vaccinated for it). He is now in isolation at the hospital and is receiving fluids and antibiotics. It absolutely breaks my heart that I can't visit him, but I know he is getting the care he needs. When I spoke to the doc earlier, she said he was doing better and showing signs of increased energy. We're keeping our fingers crossed that we caught it in time.

We now just have to put all our positive energy toward him eating (and keeping down) his food in the morning. Any puppy prayers and good thoughts would be more appreciated than I can even express. We just love our little guy so much and can't wait to bring him home.

Introducing...

2011-04-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

... Samson! We got our new little boy yesterday and couldn't be any more in love. His official name, believe it or not, is Prince Samson Muhapi after both my wonderful friend Samson Muhapi in Namibia and his son, Prince. We just call him Samson or Sammy. I'm sure you'll be hearing a lot more about him in these parts on a pretty regular basis. Until then, I'm going to stay busy snuggling the little fur baby.

The Day We Loved A Dog.

2011-04-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

As you all know, I have been wanting a dog for a little over a year now. Call it what you will, but I have a full blown case of the puppies. I am constantly adding myself to shelter rescue email alerts, browsing the websites of breeders and reading every dog and puppy book I can get my hands on. It really is just that bad. Say what you will, but in addition to the sinus infection and bronchitis I was diagnosed with yesterday, I also have one of the most serious cases of puppy fever.

The night before my birthday, Jenner and I were watching a movie and he suddenly grabbed hold of my hand and very seriously said, "Baby." Convinced something was wrong, I became worried. Then he turned his blackberry to me and showed me this photo on a friend's Facebook page with the caption "looking for a good home."

Instantly, my heart melted. I looked at Jenner confused because for months now he has been the holdout in expanding our little family to include a puppy. The next two sentences he uttered had to be one of my favorite things he has ever said, "I think it's a sign. I think that's our puppy." I couldn't believe it. Although she wasn't exactly the dog I had in mind, she was perfect and from the second I saw her, I loved her. A friend of Jenner's (and now a friend of mine) had found her lost, dirty and scared. She estimated that the puppy had been lost somewhere between three days and a week. They posted signs, but heard nothing. On March 17th, the day after my birthday, she came to live with us.

We named her Lucy and from the moment she came into our home, we became a family in a way we hadn't been before. Jenner (who has an innate way with animals) immediately became her best friend and they snuggled and wrestled the first hour we had her. Next, we went on a little trip to PetSmart and bought the necessities needed for our little pup and then took her to meet her uncle, Russy. That night, I set about crate training (see Dog Whisperer? I was paying attention) and was so proud of our new little girl. In the night, I would crawl over to her crate just to make sure the baby was still breathing and in the morning, she just looked at me happily through the crate door excited to get out and pee all over me. (We were still working on the potty training and having only one working foot made that a little more challenging than I had anticipated.)

Later that afternoon, we sat outside and, between frantic calls to my best friend and Lucy's auntie Carina begging for dog advice on almost every topic you can imagine, enjoyed what has to be one of my favorite afternoons. Just sitting there on that gorgeous, warm day watching my new little pup discover the world, try to play with insects, happily hop through the sprinkler, run up and sit on my lap, stare at the pigeons and bark uncontrollably at the crazy lady who feeds said pigeons (good instincts, Lucy) made me realize that those precious moments right there are why people have dogs. To sit in the sunshine and discover the small things around you is a beautiful thing and I wouldn't trade that afternoon for anything.

A couple of hours later, we got the dreaded call. Lucy's owner had seen one of the signs and called. Jenner and I were both heartbroken, but knew we had to give her back (although I did suggest taking our new baby and fleeing to Mexico). There were many, many tears on my part that night (and even a few from Jenner) and I was surprised that I could grow to love someone that much in just one day.

Now that some time has passed, I look back at our day with Lucy as one of the happiest days I can remember. I am so grateful that she came into our lives not only to show us that we are ready for a dog, but because it gave us so much joy and turned our little green shag carpeted condo into a home. We miss you, Lucy (we found out her name was, gasp, Teasha), but are so happy to have known you and, even in losing you, we were comforted (although not surprised) that you were loved by so many. You were a good, good girl and our next dog will have some big (okay, tiny) furry shoes to fill. Thank you for teaching me how lovely the world is with a dog by my side.

A Little Absence.

2011-04-03T17:25:00.000-07:00

Without meaning to, I've taken a little break from my blog. Things have been busy in my world as of late. Recovering from surgery. A terrible, no good, rotten cold. Two fabulous visits from friends. Hobbling around on crutches. Finishing up the last details of my therapy licensing. Baby snuggling. More hobbling around on crutches. Birthday celebrations. Loving and losing a dog. Limping. Sinus infection. Bronchitis. Oh, and a little more limping for good measure.

In my time away, I've really missed this little ol' blog of mine. Whenever I think about what I want to write here on my tiny fenced in area of the internet, I think about the stories I'll want to relive years from now. That said, there are many stories I want to share here from recent days.

Stay tuned, friends...

Pray For Japan.

2011-03-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there are no words.

If you can, please help. This is a great list to help us navigate where to start.

Recuperating. {An update, a birthday and a whole lotta hope.}

2011-03-15T12:30:00.000-07:00

A year ago today, I sat at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf sipping my nonfat, iced chai tea and wrote a post about my upcoming birthday party that night and my hopes for the new year that would start on my birthday, the following day. This year, I'm back at Coffee Bean, sipping the same drink and writing about my big day tomorrow. This year, however, I crutched in from my car and am still hopped up on pain pills. I don't have the energy for a big shindig on my birthday this year, but am looking forward to some time at Globe Salon pampering myself and a dinner with my love.

I'm not going to lie, things have been really hard as of late, friends. I'm a big believer in the pendulum theory. So, in order to feel the very high highs I am blessed to experience on a pretty regular basis, I have to endure the low lows I am faced with these days. Have no fear, however, I am enduring and, honestly, I feel stronger and more hopeful than I have in a very long time. I'm also a big believer in the fact that sometimes our lives need a shakeup and I definitely got mine in more than a couple ways recently.

My surgery went really well and I might as well tell you all now that I have an implant... in my ankle, thankyouverymuch. Remember in a previous post when I talked about just letting go and resting for a while? Yeah, um, I had no idea what I was in for. Unlike after my knee surgery, I am unable to put any pressure on my foot and have to rely solely on crutches for the next two weeks. Add the fact that the bathroom in my condo is on the second floor, you can probably understand why I have to constantly lift myself up the stairs on my rear. The good news? I'm getting stronger physically everyday to match my newly increased emotional strength. More good news? Okay, okay. My best friend and sister came last weekend and I can't say enough good things about their visit. It wasn't all easy, but it was all amazing. They helped me, supported me, confronted me on a few things, let me break down several times, lifted me back up, made me laugh and pushed me around in a wheel chair. I am more blessed than I can ever, ever say to have those two. (More on that trip in an upcoming post.) Oh, and just to prove my boyfriend's theory that I live a third of the year in hotels, one of my best gals, Katie, is coming next weekend for some much, much needed time together.

Looking back at this last year in my life, I really feel like I am right where I should be. That said, I know I didn't push myself this year the way I deserved in order to live the life of my dreams. 2009 was a huge year for me - finishing grad school, moving across multiple states for love, living apart from my loved ones, starting my career - and I'm afraid I stalled a little in 2010. Well, friends, I am confident this coming year will be my best yet, no matter where it takes me. I've enlisted the help of a badass friend of mine and plan on taking the world by storm this year. Before I get too ahead of myself, however, I'm going to give myself just a little more time to recuperate, to read, to nap, to talk to my friends, to laugh with my hilarious boyfriend, to watch movies that make me deliriously happy and to love the hell out of myself.

At the end of the day, with all the hurt and the tragedy and the broken bones and hearts, it really is a wonderful world.

A Small Town Girl's Las Vegas Loves #1 {Globe Salon}

2011-03-11T20:00:00.000-08:00

When a person thinks of Las Vegas, several things usually come to mind. Many of these same things are really the antithesis of this small town girl. For example... Gambling? Not my thing. Drinking? Eh, not big on it most days. Cheesy fellas sporting Ed Hardy shirts and too much cologne? Somebody please get me out the Hard Rock before I throw up. Seriously.

That said, I adore Las Vegas. I really do. Love brought me to this sparkly city and I can honestly say that love is what has kept me here. The love of Las Vegas. Since I first started blogging about my move from Seattle, I have gotten a lot of questions about the best places to stay, eat, etc. and, honestly, I get really excited sharing my Vegas loves. I especially love it because I tend to direct people to some of the smaller spots off the strip, places the typical visitor might miss out on.

So, I decided that from time to time, I want to share some of my Vegas insights on le blog. To start this off, I really want to tell you about my FAVORITE place in my new city, a place you would be foolish not to visit when you're here, Globe Salon.

If you're like me, you take your hair pretty darn seriously. (Yes, I realize there are far more pressing concerns going on in the world, but if my hair looks great, my day just tends to go a little better. It's just a fact.) Moving to a new city and looking for a stylist is no easy task, especially for me. I had what you might call hair stylist baggage. You see, the man who used to do my hair for years (a man my entire family loves and misses, for the record) had a passion for hair that was only matched by a (former) passion for drugs and drinking on the job. This combination made me, on more than one occasion, walk out of his salon looking and feeling like a fool. So, like anyone who has gone through a bad hair breakup, I was reticent to commit again... Until Globe.

From my first appointment at Globe, I knew this was not only the salon I had been looking for since I had moved to Las Vegas, but - and I really don't think I'm exaggerating here - my whole life. Why, you wonder? Well, let me tell you... Globe only hires the best. The stylists are hip, funny, kind and incredibly talented at what they do. Megan, who does my hair, has never, ever disappointed me. She is an artist who understands color and what looks good. End of story. More than that, when I have an appointment on the books, I know that day is going to be great. From the moment you walk in the door, you are treated like family. And from the moment you walk out, you are treated like a rock star because you look that damned good. Throw in their massaging shampoo chairs and the fact they made Elle Magazine's Top 100 Salons list and, well, I'm simply in love and I know you will be, too.

If you happen to live in Vegas or will be in town this Sunday, I urge you to join me at Globe Salon for their Cut-a-Thon fundraiser. 100% of the proceeds from this event will go to the American Foundation for Children with AIDS benefiting children with HIV/AIDS living in sub-Saharan Africa. This is a cause, and a salon, truly close to my heart. Hope to see you there.

In the meantime, thank you, Globe. Thank you for treating me like a friend during a time when I hadn't made any yet, thank you for making my hair look better than it ever has and thank you for giving your time and money to issues as important as this. Las Vegas is lucky to have you.

Happy hair, friends!

{photos via Globe Salon}

On Faith, Fathers and Rainbows.

2011-03-09T20:30:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, when I was in my hometown of Westport, WA (population 2,500), I had an experience that truly touched my heart. You see, several years ago, my family was surprised to learn that many people in the community had donated money for my father to have a bench - with memorial plaque - on a pathway to the beach. This was done without even my mother's knowledge and meant so much to all of us that my father had been beloved not only by us, but by all of our little town.

For some reason, I had never been. Every time my family visited the bench, I wasn't in town and although I had always planned on making the trip, for one reason or another, it didn't happen. So, during my week at home, I made it a priority to finally go and sit on my Dad's bench.

The day of the visit, Jenner and I spent a lovely morning with my mom, sharing great conversation over coffee and eggs. During our stay, and this day in particular, the weather was perfectly stormy, rainy, windy and wonderful. (If you know me, you know there is nothing I love more than a dramatic beach storm. At one point, the windows looked like they were bending in the crazy, strong wind and the rain was actually coming down sideways. It felt just like home and I loved every minute of it.) When we made our drive into Westport (my family's home is actually in a town called Tokeland adjacent to Westport - a town that is a whopping two mile peninsula), the rain was coming down in buckets and, let me tell you, it was COLD. Nothing, however, could stop us from making it to the bench.

And when we finally made it, when I finally sat down on my dad's bench, it was perfect.

It made me feel closer to my father sitting on that bench, remembering how loved he was. And it meant the world to me that Jenner was there sitting next to me.

We then decided to brace ourselves for the cold and walk a little further to the shore. When we arrived, it started pouring again. Jenner walked toward the water to marvel at how the surfers could stand the freezing water and I took a moment to walk by myself for a few minutes. In those moments, I started talking quietly to my father. I told him how much I loved and missed him and how truly lucky I am to have had him as my dad. Then Jenner and I headed back to the bench before we went home.

Just before we reached it, the rain stopped and the most beautiful rainbow appeared across the sky.

And in that moment, I felt my father there with me, his love wrapped around me, and I felt a faith I hadn't known before.

Thank you, Dad.

An Update From This Small Town.{Heartache, surgery & much needed sleep.}

2011-03-01T14:10:00.000-08:00

Hello, friends.

I've stepped away from the blogosphere for a quick minute or two recently and only wanted to pop back in to assure my loved ones in other states that I am, indeed, alive. Like all of our lives sometimes get, mine has been a rollercoaster these last few weeks. However, through it all, I have learned that I am stronger than I knew and loved more than I could have dreamed. After a much needed trip to WA to visit with my mom, snuggle with my nephews, laugh with my best friend and sisters, nap with my dogs, walk on the beach and play tour guide to my boyfriend, I returned to Vegas only to be followed by a stomach flu that took down an entire family thanks to a very charming three year old. That stomach flu was then followed by a week long flu of the regular variety and news that I need yet another surgery.

So... I am having ankle surgery on, ... wait for it, this Friday. Turns out, my previous knee injury affected far more than just my knee and I have one more surgery before I am well on the road to recovery. And recovery, my friends, is just what I need. Honestly, when my doc informed me that he needed to operate again, I laughed. I laughed and then I cried because life, like shit, just happens and you can either buckle up and take the ride or feel sorry for yourself. I choose the former.

And, honestly, I have the sneaking suspicion the universe is asking me to just let go for a little while. A few weeks ago, when I was working the graveyard shift and absolutely exhausted every minute of my week, all I could do was dream of sleep. Luckily, I found out yesterday that everything is lined up for my license to practice therapy to FINALLY go through in six weeks. Knowing that, as of this Friday, I will literally have weeks to do nothing but sleep and read, breathe and heal. I think, perhaps, this is just the time I need.

Although I'm not nearly as afraid I will die as last time, I would still appreciate any good thoughts you can muster on Friday going into surgery. The boyfriend and I will be holing up for a good few days over at his family's house. I am looking forward to days of catching up on television and hanging with his mom and Russy. Then my amazing sister (the one who took me to the Hilton after my last surgery) is flying into town for a little post-surgery, pre-birthday fun at this hip boutique hotel I've been dying to stay at. Talk about a stylish recovery. I can't wait.

I hope this finds all of you exceptionally well. I can't wait to someday very soon catch up on all of your lovely blogs. Much, much love to you.

{* The photo above is from my trip home with Jenner. This was just one of so many amazing moments. I'll be sure to post more on that next week. Hope to see you back here soon!}

I Believe.

2011-02-13T23:00:00.000-08:00

I believe one of the worst weeks I can remember is finally coming to a close.

I believe I am a better person this week than I was the one before.

I believe the things that hurt the most are the things that change our lives.

I believe that sometimes our lives need changing.

I believe a person can't possibly lead a happy life in ill fitting underwear.

I believe when your heart and body are broken, the people who love you will hold you up and teach you to walk again.

I believe babies and dogs know when you need extra love.

I believe in second chances, but not third.

I believe my dad puts his arms around me when I need him to.

I believe there is no more soothing sound in this world than rain on the rooftop of my childhood home.

I believe the things that rip our lives apart are the things that make us who we were meant to be.

I believe I was born to live in the sunshine.

I believe laughter can be found in the least funny things.

I believe no loss can break me or stop me from loving.

I believe the world is a beautiful place.

I believe I am the love of my life.

I believe.

The Chronicles of Cute.

2011-02-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

The other day, the little girls I nanny for and I started playing one of our favorite games: let's take photos of our different emotion faces. Never fails, friends. Never. Fails. I still can't look at these without laughing.

"Surprised - take one." The toddler's hand gets me every time in this one.

"Angry." I'm pretty sure angry never looked this cute.

"Shocked."

"Exhausted."

"We're going to Disneyland!"

And, finally, my personal favorite - "frightened." I left out "sad" because, and let's just keep it real here, it wasn't a good look on me... I'm pretty sure both girls have a future in the dramatic arts.

Getting Offline and Reading a Damn Book.

2011-02-01T14:30:00.000-08:00

I know, I know... I'm online writing this post. However, it's not as though I'm giving up the internet - no, no, of course not - it's just that it recently hit me that I spend entirely too much time here. The blog is the least of my concerns - at least it's a somewhat creative endeavor (hopefully). My problem is when I take my iPhone to the bathroom. TO THE BATHROOM. (I apologise for yelling.) Catching up on Twitter and Facebook in the restroom? That's anything but restful. And only reading blogs, tweets and status updates in bed? I think I just lost brain cells writing that sentence.

So, after some thought, I decided to try and read 10 books from January 1st to April 1st. I should probably note here that I am a somewhat slow reader with a sometimes very short attention span. I'm not proud of either of these facts and I actually blame Facebook and the like for causing us to feel the need to be constantly stimulated and entertained. No, Mark Zuckerberg, I don't actually blame you. I blame myself for getting sucked in. However, I did see The Social Network recently and I'm not happy. In fact, I think we have a few things to talk about, Mark... Oh, wow. See, how I just got off topic there? That's my short attention span rearing it's ugly head. And that, that right there, is why I decided to make a change, to literally force myself to put my phone down and open a damn book and then nine more. (Please don't misunderstand. I have always loved to read; I've just gotten out of the habit.)

So far, so good. I was originally worried that I would open the first book and then immediately point to the sky and exclaim, "Look at the bird!" Luckily, I haven't had too many of those ADD moments. I'm currently three books down with seven to go. I'm having a hard time getting into #4, however. Why, you ask? Because #3 was the best book I've read in years.

I believe that Room by Emma Donoghue is, simply put, a masterpiece. It's the kind of book that crawls into your heart on the very first page and lives with you long after you've read the last word. Because I don't want to give too much away and because I am trying to convince every person I know to read it, I want to include here praise from two acclaimed authors. I hope they will convince you to go out and get yourself a copy.

"Emma Donoghue's writing is superb alchemy, changing innocence into horror and horror into tenderness. Room is a book to read in one sitting. When it's over you look up: the world looks the same but you are somehow different and that feeling lingers for days." - Audrey Niffenegger, author of The Time Traveler's Wife

"Room is that rarest of entities, an entirely original work of art. I mean it as the highest possible praise when I tell you that I can't compare it to any other book. Suffice to say that it's potent, darkly beautiful, and revelatory." - Michael Cunningham, author of The Hours

What I will say here about the book is that finishing it felt a little like a breakup in the way that I can't pick up another book quite yet. I feel as though I have come to love a five year old boy, the book's narrator, and am just not ready to let him go. I think that's the way a truly good book should make you feel and, let me tell you, I am so glad I put down that stupid phone long enough to remember this feeling.

Happy reading! Xoxo

My List of Happy.

2011-01-24T09:30:00.000-08:00

First of all, a big, big thank you to those of you who commented on my last post. Your words really comforted me during a rough week and reminded me that we're all searching for meaningful work that compliments how happy we know we can be. After I gave my notice at my job last week, I have felt an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders and am reminded of the many, many things I am grateful for. Sometimes it's the little things and sometimes it's the really, really big things.

So here it is, my current little list of happy.

Long naps. Morning smoothies. Giggling children and snuggling babies. Getting lost in a good book and then another. Checking things off the to do list. Instantly watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix after taking a long break from the show. Saying goodbye to the graveyard shift. Dr. Praeger's sweet potato pancakes. New jobs. A best friend who never ceases to find a way to understand what I'm going through. Frozen yogurt. Kanye's "All of the Lights." Planning for a puppy. The unconditional love of my family. 70 degree days just starting to return. Bachelor nights with Jenner's mom. New friends. Eyelash extensions. A trip to Palm Springs with a few of my adored ladies. A love who loves me through the hard stuff.

What's on your happy list?

Going Back to School, Quitting Your Job & Not Being Good At Everything.

2011-01-19T22:30:00.000-08:00

I've been struggling - really, really struggling - and I am happy to report that things are about to change.

After I was offered two jobs that I considered to be of the dream variety last year, I was told I had to go back to grad school for a quarter. (If you read my blog every now and again, you probably already know this.) Now if you have finished graduate school, you know there is serious celebrating involved with reaching this milestone. I'm talking going out to dinner with your family to your very favorite, and most expensive in town, sushi restaurant while throwing back saki bombs. You may have even thrown yourself a party because, and let's be honest here, there were moments you thought you might never get that degree, moments you almost threw your hands in the air and marched to the nearest Arby's to fill out an application. People can say what they want, but graduate school is hard. Hard to start and even harder to finish. Compounding this difficulty is the fact that most of us have full time jobs by the time we embark on this journey and it's a lot of work. Don't let anyone tell you any different; it's a lot of work.

When you are informed that you have to go back to school once you have already finished, celebrated and told everyone who will listen that you never, ever, ever have to write another research paper for the rest of your life, you may kick and scream and and cry and try to fight this. However, at the end of the day, you chose this career and you worked this hard because it's the one thing you can't see yourself not doing. If you were a cheesier person, you might say this is the job you were born to do, but since you're not, you won't.

As much as I hated having to go back and write more research papers, I was in this position because I fell in love, threw caution to the wind, without a second thought to how it might affect my licensure requirements as a therapist, and moved to the desert. And you know what? It was worth it. Even with all the extra work and hoop jumping and struggles, I would do it all the same. Time and time again, I would do it over.

So, during the fall, I went back to school. I also had knee surgery. Those two dream jobs were a distant memory and I was a girl on crutches in need of a paycheck. Thanks to the help of some very lovely people, I was offered the weekend graveyard position at a psychiatric hospital doing intake. I didn't know the first thing about intake or the fact that working the graveyard would make me actually want to bury myself in one, but decided to give it a go. And I did. I gave it my very, very best. At four in the morning, I faxed and compiled, called insurance companies and held the hands of parents who had to place their children in our care. It looked nothing like therapy and utilized almost none of my skills, but I put as much heart as I could into a job that didn't always care how much I cared. (This is not to imply that my workplace is an uncaring place. Not at all. Intake is just not therapy and therapy is my way of helping people. Period.) And as much as I tried to convince myself that I didn't, I hated it.

On Saturday, after coming home in tears two days in a row, I quit. I quit thirty minutes after receiving an email (at 9:30 on a Saturday night) from one of those aforementioned dream jobs offering me a position out of nowhere. I am very happy to tell you two things. 1) In a few weeks I will be going to bed at midnight - instead of just starting my shift and 2) in a little over a month, I will be what I think I may have always been meant to be - a children's therapist.

This whole experience has been really hard on me, but it has also taught me so much. Do you remember Amelia Bedelia from the children's books? The housekeeper who got almost everything wrong? Well, that was me in intake. It was a whole lot of data entry and paperwork and I somehow managed to fail miserably at almost every task I attempted. Because I am a pretty sensitive person who doesn't like to screw up, I took this failure to heart and thought it was a reflection of me.

Then it hit me. We don't have to be good at everything. We just don't. We have to roll with the punches and make the most out of the times we have the least. We have to try our best. We have to be kind. (And, yes, these are the rules according to me.) What else do we have to do? We have to try and find a way to be happy in times that are sometimes anything but. We have to try to be the best versions of ourselves even during the worst of times. More than anything else, perhaps, we have to discover what we're brilliant at and find a way to give that gift to the world. For me, I have always been great with children. After almost 15 years as a nanny (to over 21 children), I can't wait to take my strengths with kids and parlay that into a career as a children's therapist. Life is too damn short to be miserable and to only focus on what we aren't good at when there is so much we excel in.

I hope that whatever it is you're good at, you find a way to do it. You deserve to be happy. We all do.

Falling Asleep on the Floor... {A Lesson I've Learned from the Sims}.

2011-01-13T19:15:00.000-08:00

Have you ever played the game The Sims? If you haven't, you should. It's like playing with Barbies, but about a million times more fun. There are hazards of this game, however, hazards I should warn you about. For example, your Sim might be a successful entrepreneur with a beautiful home, a gorgeous George Clooney Sim husband and three cute kids. Then you look around and realize that while your Sim is succeeding, you - on the other hand - are not. You (for example, of course) have been playing fourteen hours straight and wearing the same pajamas since Tuesday. Please take this warning seriously.

Moving on... One pesky little Sim antic is that when they haven't gotten enough sleep, they pass out on the floor. They usually wet themselves next followed by waking up damp, embarrassed, exhausted and uncomfortable.

You may be wondering where I'm going with this, but be patient. I am currently going on my eighth straight day of work and won't see a day off until another week passes. So far, I am at hour 70 of work and am tired in ways I didn't know were possible. In addition to my weekend graveyard shift (which always leaves me tired) and weekday nanny gig, I took an extra job this week that had me waking up at 5am. Needless to say, my internal clock is utterly and entirely confused.

My point? This week, at any given moment, I am silently willing myself not to pass out on the floor and pee my pants. It may not seem like a big goal, but if I can make it through the next seven days without following in so many of my sleepy Sims' footsteps, I will consider it a huge success.

What to Expect When You're Expecting...a Puppy.

2011-01-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

I recently told my boyfriend that I'm expecting... a puppy.

A little creepy? Perhaps, but I need him to wrap his head around this idea because, people, come October, the stork is dropping this furry little baby off at my doorstep and I hope he or she has a doggie baby daddy.

What does expecting a puppy look like? Well, it means I get to gain weight (just kidding - I have actually bribed myself into losing weight with the promise of eyelash extensions if I make my weight loss goals), get all my ducks in a row (this includes getting really serious about finding just the right therapist position that will enable me to be a working mother) and reading lots of "how to raise the cutest/sweetest/most charming puppy in the world" books (two are on their way in the mail now). This also includes texting my little one's godmother for lots of advice.

I've let my future fur baby's grandparents know, as well as his auntie - Autumn Vegas (who owes me big since I will be watching her pup for a week while she jets off to the, wait for it..., Maldives) and his uncle, Russy. Let's be honest here, Russy is almost entirely to blame for the very strong case of puppy fever I contracted a couple of years ago and everyone knows the only known cure for puppy fever is, well, a puppy. The soon to be uncle is also the reason behind the kind of dog I want - part golden retriever, part cocker spaniel. I hope the baby inherits his uncle's good looks and charm, but not his neurosis. Sorry, Russ, but it's true.

So, there you have it, friends. Thank you for letting me share my good news! Oh, and don't you worry, I'll keep you posted and direct you to our registry when the time is right. ;)

New Year's Eve Photos, Thoughts and Joy.

2011-01-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

Happy, happy (belated) New Year!

For so many of us, 2010 was a struggle. If for no other reason, I was happy to ring in the new year. This was my third Las Vegas NYE and my first off the strip. The boyfriend and I headed down to Fremont Street to drink champagne, laugh with our friends and dance it up (and in a fantastic romper he bought me for Christmas, no less). Right before the clock struck midnight, Jenner pulled me aside to tell me how happy he was to spend this last year with me, as well as how excited he was going into 2011 together. Of all the moments that night, that one meant the most. Oh, and then we clinked glasses and pronounced this would be the year we tried to move out of the green shag palace. That was the cherry on top.

In my last post, I mentioned some of the hardships I experienced in 2010, but what I failed to mention was what it had an abundance of, love. There will always be hard times, and life will deal me far more difficult times than I went through last year, however, I am so grateful for all the love and all the laughs. And there were and are many, many laughs.

NYE marked the first night post-injury that I attempted to wear wedges and, let me tell you, it was fun. I'm afraid that prior to my surgery, I found myself in a bit of a rut. I didn't really want to get all gussied up and go out. So, I holed up a lot at home, with a book and a pair of slippers. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE those kind of nights more than any other kind, but being forced to a) stay home due to surgery recovery and then b) working the weekend graveyard shift gave me the opportunity to really miss nights out on the dance floor. I ended the year regretting that I had taken my mobility for granted and started to make up for it on New Year's Eve.

I plan to continue making up for it well into 2011.

I love the photo above because I look so damned happy. That's a look I plan on wearing most of the year and I hope you'll join me in this new trend. I have a great feeling about what's to come and, from the bottom of my heart, I hope this is your best year yet.

Lots of love and laughs, dancing and happiness,

Kathleen

2010 - The Year I Had to Suck it Up and Grow Up.

2011-01-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

2009 was a big, big year for me filled with love, change and stupidity. I assumed this year would be quiet in comparison. Turns out, I thought wrong...

So, here it is. 2010 in words - the setbacks, the stumbles and the smiles.

I started this year expecting great things. Instead, I quit my job, had to go back to graduate school, said goodbye to Friday and Saturday night fun by taking a weekend graveyard counseling position and ended up having surgery for a very painful fractured kneecap.

You see, this is the year I had to do the things I didn't want to do. In other words, this is the year I had to suck it up and grow up.

It started with quitting my job of almost a year. After several months of unhappiness and poor treatment, I made the decision to leave (because nobody puts Bailey in the corner). After applying to Nevada's Board of Clinical Professional Counselors, I was told that I needed to take one extra credit in five additional graduate level courses. So, I went back to graduate school and if you happened to read my blog around that time, you know that I had a really hard time accepting this. Oh, and then I found out I needed surgery. A surgery that ended up being far more complicated than I had ever anticipated with months of physical therapy, immobility and pain. Finally, there was the weekend graveyard shift and a Christmas without my family.

Each of the aforementioned items were things I did not want to do. I didn't want to leave a job where I felt as though I really made a difference (and got a great paycheck). I can promise you that in no way did I want to RETURN to graduate school and read more books and write more research papers. I never wanted to have surgery and I never, ever, ever wanted to work the graveyard shift or work the holidays. EVER.

Here, however, is what I have come to realize. Big girls suck it up, do the things they don't want to do (at least some of the time) and acknowledge all their blessings. And even during the hard parts, I am a very blessed person... Everyone needs to have the opportunity to stand up for themselves and find a workplace that values how much they care. As hard as it was to leave, I always knew - in my heart - it was the right decision... Everyone has to be tested; is this what you really, really want to do with your life? Do you want this so much that you are willing to do anything for it? It turns out, I did want it that much... If I had been in Washington when I had my surgery, I would have turned to my family and they would have entirely taken care of me. Although I certainly had people help me, I was forced to learn to rely on myself in ways that make me proud... What else can I tell you? My days working the graveyard shift are numbered and I know for sure that unless I find myself with 12 mouths to feed someday, I will never work these hours again. Why? Because I value my mental health... And as much as I hated being away from my family for the holidays, I felt a part of myself strengthen from this experience.

What else? I'm glad you asked...

Fake eyelashes. Sushi. Growing pains. One ugly gym. Seeing Phoenix at the Hard Rock. Trips to California. A perfect Valentine's day. A birthday surrounded by new friends. Autumn Vegas. My karaoke debut. (Even more) puppy love. The art of happiness and costume parties. The return of Mary Poppins. Pop Culture. Falling in love with San Diego. Wearing fake moustaches on the strip. Twice. Embracing my inner gay man. Zumba. Giving up cheese. Realizing that a cheese-less life wasn't one worth living. Personal trainer pain. The crazy bird lady who lives next door. Going to see my first love, Huey Lewis. Celebrating my one year anniversary with Las Vegas. Bloggers in Sin City. Fracturing my kneecap. Loving my boy. Quitting my job. Lake Tahoe. Kings of Leon on a summer night. New jobs. Major letdowns. Recovering from said setbacks on my mom's deck on the bay. Little boys I love. Finding myself in the desert. Going (back) to grad school. Hosting my best friends in my new city. Surgery. A Madonna Halloween costume. Graveyard shift. Intake Counselor. A redheaded soul. A new beginning.

I am going into 2011 having just told my boss that I am looking for therapy work DURING THE DAY, having finished my papers and received my extra credits with an almost healed knee. I also just returned from a few days with my adorable family. I can't think of a better way to bid 2010 farewell. If this year has taught me anything, it's that you just never know what waits in store for you. However, I still expect great things.

In 2011, I see a career I'm passionate about (instead of just a job), a whole lot more love and travel, a little less candy and a puppy by 2012. That's right, Jenner, a puppy.

To great expectations, rolling with the punches and the setbacks that make us stronger... To 2011!

My Year {in Tweets}.

2010-12-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

Oh, Twitter. If nothing else, you provide countless hours of entertainment and procrastination. I recently looked through my past tweets (something only a person avoiding writing research papers at 4am would do) and thought it provided an interesting - and oddly accurate - look at my year.

So, here it is. A sampling of 2010. The good, the bad, the funny, the ridiculous - also known as a lot of talk about sushi, love and The Bachelor.

- Jan 6th - I honestly think I may have just met my fairy godmother and, no, I'm not kidding.

- Feb. 3rd - Rockin' a side ponytail and a smirk. It's just that kind of day.

- Feb. 16th - Suri Cruise is carrying an $850 bag?! File this under things that make me sick.

- Feb. 22nd - I just overheard myself say to my boyfriend, "Historically, 'The Women Tell All' episode is very important to the Bachelor franchise." Uh-oh.

- Feb. 28th - When I lose followers on my blog, I tell myself they must have died. Just kidding. Sort of.

- Mar 6th - It's safe to assume I'm the only person at the bar reading Michael Moore's letter to our president on my phone.

- Mar. 11th - My inner gay man is on fire! I love drag queens!

- Mar. 19th - My mother just asked me if I'm still going through a "Madonna phase." My reply? "27 years isn't a phase, it's a lifestyle."

- Mar 22nd - Life is too short to be friends with Republicans on Facebook.

- Mar. 23rd - Dear lady across from me at Coffee Bean - If I look uncomfortable, it's because you're STILL talking to yourself. Two words: volume control.

- April 2nd - Sitting outside in a straw fedora on a 67 degree day reading in the sunshine. My love of Vegas knows no end.

- April 16th - My nine year old client just said, "I wish Justin Bieber was my brother."

- May 10th - Just took my first Zumba class. Can't decide if that was the best or most demoralizing hour of my life.

- May 16th - At a karaoke contest to support my client's parents. Someone just performed "Ridin' Dirty" and dedicated it to..., wait for it..., his family.

- May 18th - Nobody puts Bailey in the corner.

- May 29th - I'm in love with Huey Lewis. Apparently it's also 1984 and I'm six years old.

- June 5th - There are some moments, small pockets of time, where everything is perfect. And in these moments, you are healed and happy and whole.

- June 11th - Filled with sushi, Seattle and joy.

- June 22nd - Well, it had to happen eventually... Today I cried at the gym. Feels less like a social and physical fail and more like a rite of passage.

- June 24th - Bonded with a stranger at the grocery store over the Jake/Vienna split.

- June 30th - Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend and I just started dating because he still gives me butterflies.

- July 6th - My mother tried to convince me this morning that lol means lots of love.

- July 11th - Sometimes I wish I could go back to my former, younger self and whisper in her ear, "Someday you will be so happy."

- July 13th - Dear Mel Gibson, No thank you. From now until forever, no f*cking thank you. Please take your violent, racist, sexist self elsewhere.

- July 21st - When Jenner came to bed last night, he said, "I like how it looks like you have a mullet right now." Thanks, baby.

- July 24th - You know you're getting older when you say, "You have to check out my cool new knee brace."

- July 27th - Major. Setback.

- August 4th - Dozing in the sunshine on a deck overlooking the bay. Feeling so at peace. Hometown happy.

- August 19th - Spencer Pratt is writing a tell-all about Heidi? Should be really riveting stuff. Um, or not.

- August 24th - Sometimes all you can do is get through.

- Sept. 2nd - Bought my first pair of Converse in fifteen years today.

- Sept. 4th - Sometimes a gal's gotta put on too high of heels and dance until 3am to remember she's not 23 anymore. My feet hurt.

- Sept. 16th - I would like to thank everyone who made this Yama Sushi mayorship possible. Oh, and I have to unbutton my jeans because of all this sushi.

- Oct. 1st - The doctor reports that as I was coming out of anesthesia, I sat up and yelled, "I LOVE TECHNOLOGY!"

- Oct. 9th - The great thing about not wearing makeup for a really long time is that when you do, you look in the mirror and think, "Damn, I look good."

- Oct. 22nd - I miss my mother so much it hurts.

- Oct. 31st - I haven't had this much glitter on my face since the 90's.

- Nov. 5th - Who decides to work the weekend graveyard shift at a psychiatric hospital?! Um, me. Seriously rethinking this right about now.

- Nov. 19th - Dear Life - You've been trying to bring me down lately, but it's not going to work. Nice effort, though. Love, Kathleen

- Nov. 22nd - I sure love this boy. My worst times are better than my best times before I knew him.

- Dec. 3rd - While my doctor was injecting me with a cortisone shot near my bum, he was loudly singing "Welcome to the Jungle." Um, I was disturbed.

- Dec. 6th - To the man holding the Viagra sign on the corner, I'm sorry. In these economic times, you're keepin' on. Also, I liked your Santa hat.

- Dec. 19th - Then I took that muscle relaxer, forgot my middle name and passed out on the couch at 8:45pm. Good night.

- Dec. 24th - Yes, I just got out of bed at 3:30am, tiptoed downstairs and ate a chocolate Santa (or two). It's Christmas Eve, cut me some slack.

- Dec. 28th - It's official: Life is looking up.

Wishing You a Magical Holiday. {And why you should never gift me underwear.}

2010-12-24T20:00:00.000-08:00

Just in time for the holidays, my little blogging hiatus is officially over. My papers are in and I can finally, finally, finally start to relax. This is the biggest Christmas gift I could have ever given myself and, hopefully, exciting career opportunities will present themselves in the new year because of all this work.

Now enough about that... Christmas Eve is my very favorite day of the year. Every year, on this night, I wrap myself up in the love and the generosity, the magic and the possibility of it all.

This year is harder for me than previous years, however, because this is the first year ever I have been away from my family for the holiday. It is also the first year ever I have had to work - the dreaded graveyard shift - on both Christmas and Christmas Eve.

However, I am now convinced that everyone should be forced to be away from their family due to work once. Just once. (Never the graveyard shift, though. That's just cruel.) This way, you never forget how much you appreciate being with them - even if (perhaps) you once started this blog during a snowed in holiday so as not to hang yourself with Christmas tinsel from days of family overload.

I think this just might be a rite of passage the universe is throwing at me and, believe it or not, I'm embracing it.

It helps that I am surrounded by people I love, my second family - Jenner, his parents and his brother/dog, Russy. It also helps that my family just called for facetime on my phone so that I could say hello and watch my mother reenact "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" for the family talent show. She added her own take on the classic while pretending to stumble to the ground with a martini in hand. My nephews had reindeer antlers on and my sister and her husband sang the song. I laughed because it was so, so funny and I cried because I miss them so, so much. Luckily, I am flying home on the morning of the 26th and hope everyone will agree to put on a repeat performance.

What I know for sure is that if you are lucky enough to have people who love you from the bottom of their hearts and that you miss with every fiber of your being, you are among the luckiest people in the world.

What else do I know? You should never gift me underwear under any circumstance. Gather 'round folks, I've got a Christmas Eve story to tell...

Once upon a time, I think I was around seven, my family got together for our annual Christmas Eve celebration. In addition to my Mom, Dad and sister, my grandparents and a few of my cousins were there. One cousin, in particular, was present. My teenage cousin, Rick. Can you picture it? Great. Well, when it was my turn to open one of my presents from my grandma, you can probably guess that I was pretty stinkin' excited. With everyone looking at me, I tore into the wrapping paper, opened up the box and discovered..., wait for it, wait for it..., underwear staring back at me.

Do you want to know what I did next, dear reader? Well, I ran into the dining room and cried for fifteen minutes, that's what. Right about now, you may be thinking what an ungrateful, spoiled brat I was. However, the reason I was crying wasn't because I was disappointed - it was because I was mortified. I couldn't believe that everyone - and especially my older BOY cousin - had seen my underwear.

Not to worry, everyone talked me down, but no one ever forgot. To this day, over 20 years later, everyone laughs while I open presents and says, "Maybe it's underwear!"

I hope this holiday you find yourself surrounded by the ones you love with no wrapped underwear under the tree.

Love, Kathleen

{photo via}

To My Mother.

2010-12-13T14:00:00.000-08:00

(I am taking only the briefest of breaks from my self-imposed blogging hiatus to write this little post to my mom...)

Yesterday, I was curled up on the couch eating the Chex Mix you had sent me earlier in the week and I was instantly transported to your house during the holidays. It was almost as though we were listening to the John Denver and The Muppets: A Christmas Together record or, perhaps even better, Elvis singing "Santa, Bring My Baby Back To Me" while hanging the stockings over the hearth.

While I was decorating cookies last night, I said to Jenner, "I sure miss my mom." He smiled and said, "I know you do, baby." Thank you, Mom, for always reading "Yes, Virginia" to me and teaching me to believe in the possibility and the magic of the holidays. I still can't believe we won't be spending Christmas together this year, but I hope you know how GIDDY I am that I'll be flying home to see you the next day. You see, for me, there is no merry without my mama.

I love you.

Be Back Soon.

2010-12-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

Do you know what I excel in almost more than anything else in this world? The art of procrastination. Due to my limitless gifts in this area, I am now left with less than two weeks to complete everything I've been putting off in order to obtain my therapy licensure in the state of Nevada. Less than two weeks to be given the world's biggest gift - the ability to work in my chosen field. I am hoping to knock this one out of the ballpark and have a running head start on living the life of my dreams in the new year. So, my friends, I will see you on the other side of my giant to do list. May you be happy, warm and merry. Xoxo!

A Redheaded Soul.

2010-12-07T14:30:00.000-08:00

I have said this before, but I will say it again... I have a redheaded soul.

My mother is a redhead and although it kind of embarrassed me when I was a little girl (sorry, Mama), once I saw Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman in junior high, I knew - right then and there in that movie theater - that was the hair color for me. I have been every shade of red - from almost pink, to a hint of purple (my least favorite by far), to a deep reddish brown. Most of the time, I've always gone into the salon (or supermarket to buy boxed color) wanting the same thing - Lindsay Lohan's natural color, but have come out pretty disappointed. Maybe it's because there is such an array of shades in the red family, but I have come to believe it's mostly because people don't believe me when I say I want orange-ish hair.

So, I abandoned my true love of red hair and opted to explore. I have had a lot of fun being different shades of blonde and brown. Then there was the time I almost had black hair (not really a good look for me), but I think that was due to my then stylist's raging drug problem at the time. (If you're reading this, mister, and I doubt you are, sorry, but we both know it's true.)

Recently I decided (in no small part due to my huge trust for my current stylist, Megan) to return to my roots. Well, not really my roots, but you know what I mean. When she was done and unveiled the final result, I really couldn't believe my eyes. For once, it was EXACTLY what I wanted.

Since it was done last week, I've had an extra bounce in my step and twinkle in my eyes. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm delightedly surprised. Even Jenner, who is not the biggest fan of change, loves it. I think it just goes to show that something as silly as hair can start to turn things around for you.

Who would have thought that changing my hair to a color that was never mine to begin with, could make me feel more like myself?

New hair, new outlook. Bring it.

Oh, and the next time you're in Vegas, you really want to visit Globe Salon. I can guarantee they will not disappoint.

World AIDS Day.

2010-12-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

In honor of the fact that today is World AIDS Day, I wanted to share a Dr. Suess quote from The Lorax. "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."

I hope that someone like you does care a whole awful lot.

In my travels in southern Africa, I had the opportunity to volunteer weekly with children orphaned by AIDS. This experience was not only heartbreaking, but truly showed me how big of an issue lack of education is in the transmission this disease. Please go to this link for more information and to see how you can help.

I Hate Shoes.

2010-11-29T21:30:00.000-08:00

Here's the thing: I hate shoes.

Sure, I love a pretty piece of eye candy on my feet as much as the next gal, but let's just keep it real here. I loathe the feeling of them - they're just way too confining. Since I was a little girl, I have always preferred the company of slippers. If you need proof, just take a look at the photo of me as a two year old above. (The memory of that carpet still makes me giggle.)

I have more slippers than most people probably have shoes. I take them with me to work and hide out in them under my desk. I always (and I mean always) travel with them and wear them on the plane. I wore them to Thanksgiving this year and last year for Christmas, I bought Jenner's mother and I matching pairs. Honestly, I'm wearing them right now.

My physical therapist cringed when I recently told her my foot apparel of choice because of their lack of support. So, for the sake of my very flat feet, I'm going to try to kick this dirty little habit of mine. Let's be honest, though, I really don't see it happening. (C'mon, it's like walking on a cloud!). Just please don't tell my physical therapist.

The Best Best Friend Weekend Ever.

2010-11-24T21:30:00.000-08:00

For the record, this is the most overdue post I ever plan on writing (and perhaps the most wordy). If it wasn't about my closest friend and one of my favorite weekends of all time, I would just scrap it. However, this really is among my most treasured memories and, if for no other reason, I want to dedicate a post to it so I can look back and smile for years to come.

This one, this one is for us, Carina.

On September 25th, 2010, I picked up my closest gal at the airport and we had one of the best times I can remember in our 27 year friendship. The two of us hadn't had a weekend all to ourselves since she so generously drove with me from Seattle to Las Vegas pulling a u-haul through the desert for my big move. So, as you can probably imagine, this weekend was looked forward to, and counted down to, for months.

Let's get a little timeline going, shall we? I'll be sure to pepper it with quotes that had us rolling and not one, not two, but 27 photos. (Surprisingly, Carina and I haven't had pictures that we both liked of the two of us in years. Well, we sure made up for lost time.)

Saturday:

Drive to the airport. Surprise Carina with a sign that says Dr. Leo Marvin at baggage claim. The Finer Things 2010 Tour (inside and verrrry old joke) has officially begun. Hug, laugh, comment on Carina's (and I'm using her words here) inadvertent "youthful goth" new hair color. Let my best friend know that I have taken care of the schedule for the entire day to celebrate her belated birthday. Play her my new favorite song in the car. Dance. "Like a Cholo?" Long pause. "No, Carina, Ridin' Solo." Make a much anticipated tour of the Neon Boneyard. Carina: "I didn't read that document I just signed." Kathleen: "I've never read a single document I've signed in my entire life." Giggle fit #7 of 436. Think we might die of heat. Why didn't we bring water? Let's get an ice cream cone. Lunch at the Artisan. Surprise Carina - who thinks we're staying the night at my green shag palace - with a room downtown at the newly renovated (and super modern) Gold Spike (only $45!). Ask my best friend, very nicely, thank you very much, to leave for a little while. Decorate the room for her birthday. Leave out presents, white lights and approximately 23 magazines for her enjoyment. Let the (belated) bday girl back in. Go down to the pool. "Did that old man just try to touch my tattoo?" (While getting a tramp stamp when you're 18, you never realize that lecherous old men will try to touch your lower back at the pool for the rest of your damned life.) On the way back to the room, a crack head loudly tells Carina, "I love your hair, girl!" Much to my best friend's chagrin, almost die laughing. Relax in the room. Start getting dolled up for an evening out. Apply each other's makeup. Introduce Carina to my favorite drugstore false lashes. Take as many photos of ourselves as we did in junior high. Make Carina wear the birthday princess hat and over sized pink glasses. Walk through the Fremont Street Experience. Surprise (not really, it is our favorite place) the bff with dinner at Firefly. Enjoy a delicious dinner and some sparkling sangria. Deem this night "Tapas and True Friendship". Enjoy the walk back down Fremont knowing that in less than a week, I will be having knee surgery. Kathleen: "I plan on being hopped up on pain killers and showtunes the rest of the night." Make ourselves comfortable at one of my newest and most favorite spots in Vegas, Don't Tell Mama. Order shots of Patron. Fall in love with Dre, the amazing singer, at Mama's. Carina: "If you don't know all the lyrics to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin' " - I don't think I can trust you." Truer words have never been spoken, my friend. Let's order another round. Accidentally give the dreaded double thumbs up to Dre when requesting her to sing my favorite song she sings, Pink's "Sober." Run into a handsome feller named Jenner. Kiss that handsome man. Wait, that was just me. Stumble back to our hotel. Carina: "Not counting insomnia, this is the latest I've been up in years."

*The next few days were far less eventful than the first, but no less fun. And thank goodness. I don't know if the two of us could have handled another day as busy as our first. At least, not at our age. Let's just keep it real here.

Sunday:

Ouch, my head hurts. Yours, too? Pack up our little room. Have breakfast at the Cracked Egg. Go to the now dearly departed Liberace Museum. Really, really can't believe how bossy the older woman giving the tour is. Meet up with Jenner at the green shag palace. Depart for our new home, Palms Place. Check out our new one bedroom suite. Swoon. Home suite home. Kathleen: "I think this is how Jay-Z and Beyonce live." Immediately take my first of seven baths that overlook the strip. Think this might perhaps be heaven. Call Jenner and tell him he's got to see this place. Show off our new digs to the boy who is never impressed and much to our delight, discover he is indeed pretty impressed. Go to dinner at the Pink Taco. Realize this was a mistake and decide we never want to leave our new home again. Settle in on our new couch. Watch television. Fall asleep giggling, just like the old days.

Monday:

Two words: Pool. Day. Literally, this entire day focused on hanging out at the pool, taking a quick (yet, oh so glamorous) drive to my doctor's, a snack stop at Golden Spoon, an amazing steak dinner at Simon and kicking back on the couch again with my sister/best friend/soul mate. It was perfect. Throw in a little girlie getting ready time and a cocktail or two and it was one of my favorite days, ever.

When it was finally time to say goodbye on Tuesday, it was just too soon. That's the thing about my friendship with Carina. It's been 27 years and, I can tell you, it hasn't been nearly long enough. Like so many of the memories we've collected since that first day on the beach in 1983, I will never forget these perfect few days filled with laughter.

C, you know you're family to me. I couldn't love you any more. Xoxo.

PS) I can't wait for our next weekend adventure!

Even in the Hardest of Times...

2010-11-17T18:30:00.000-08:00

... I am so fortunate.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your caring comments after my last post. I was really, really touched and read them several times when things got tough. Like when a stranger stopped to help me on the side of the road after my tire had blown out last week, those supportive words reminded me of the immense power of another person's kindness.

Things are looking up in my neck of the woods. Less than a week ago, I was filled with anxiety and literally waking up with dread. After my first day off in 15 days, I am happy to report that the clouds are beginning to part.

Earlier in the week, a friend posted the above picture on her facebook wall. It was just the reminder I needed to snap me out of my little funk and make me aware of how truly blessed I am.

I hope, even in your hardest of times, you can remember how lucky you are and see the sun behind the clouds.

Lots of love and gratitude,

Kathleen

This is the Hard Part.

2010-11-11T19:00:00.000-08:00

Lately, I have to keep reminding myself, "Kathleen, this is the hard part."

In life, there are plenty of these hard parts. The times we look back on later and think, "I can't believe I got through that." The hard part paves the way to the good stuff and that, that little reminder right there, is what I repeat to myself 72 times a day.

Both my sister and my best friend recently said to me, "You know, you've really had a hard couple of months." It's funny because I thought I knew that, thought that was a given, but when they acknowledged it to me, it seemed to almost give me permission to acknowledge it to myself.

You see, like everyone, I get down in the dumps and throw myself a little pity party for one every now and again, but I never lose sight of how lucky I am. Some of my world travels have left a permanent tattoo on my heart and this tattoo never lets me forget how incredibly fortunate I am. That said, sometimes a gal just needs to be able to say, "Wow, this has been tough."

And it has.

Between the knee injury (and surgery, physical therapy, crutches, a hideous brace, immobility and pain) and finding out I had to go back to graduate school for a quarter rather than accepting two dream jobs that were offered to me, my late summer and fall have had more than their fare share of setbacks.

The latest chapter in the book I'm writing - tentatively titled "This is Really Freaking Hard" - details my new job. You see, about two weeks ago, I started a job as an intake counselor at a psychiatric hospital. (Working the graveyard shift, no less.) While this has been an amazing opportunity and I am exceptionally grateful for the chance to get my foot in the door with a great company, this position is really challenging for me. I am entirely out of my element and doing things I've never done before and, to be perfectly frank, am not terribly gifted at. Although I know I'll look back at this time and appreciate being pushed out of my comfort zone, I am filled with anxiety right now. You know the feeling when you think you'll never, ever get it? That feeling describes how I feel pretty much 99 % of the time lately.

One of the things that has been getting me through this rough spot is knowing I can soon go home for the holidays to see my family... Well, unfortunately, this is the part in the post where the violin music needs to be cued. (Do you hear it? You do? Great.) Yep, I just found out I have to work Christmas Eve, Christmas day, New Year's Eve and New Year's day... and I am heartbroken.

My point in all of this isn't just to whine. My point is that this, this right here is the hard part. I was reminded of this when my tire blew out on the freeway earlier today and I was just sitting there, waiting. Waiting to get through the hard part. The good news? When you're knee high in the hard part's mud, it just means the good stuff is on its way. I just have to wash off my feet and wait it out.

In the Zen.

2010-11-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

I am currently taken with this new company, In the Zen.

In the Zen is an eco-friendly clothing and accessory line that embodies the mindset of well-being. Their shirts are fantastic (and - because I know you want to know - are really flattering) and I just started carrying around the In the Zen tote and am completely smitten. You see, the owner is a friend of mine (I take care of her adorable daughter) and when she told me about In the Zen, I was blown away by this great idea and really wanted to get behind it and help spread the word.

We've all been "In the Zone" but I love the idea of being "In the Zen." Here's what this means to Lauren, in her words:

"Ever heard of the popular phrase – In the Zone? For me, these three simple words exude determination, focus, and overall 'on-purpose' energy. I love being In the Zone. I thrive on the sense of excitement when working towards a challenging goal. It’s a mindset that I’ve carried with me for most of my life.

A year ago, something happened that caused a subtle, yet profound paradigm shift and led me to adjust my mindset. I still carry the same level of determination & focus as before – but now, I approach life and all of its blessings and challenges with a new, refreshing mindset – it’s simple – it’s In the Zen™.

It was a hot July evening in Las Vegas, and I was swimming laps – determined to boost my heart rate, burn calories, and tone my body – all within thirty minutes. I was in the zone. Then, in mid-stroke, I noticed a dragonfly perched on a single bare branch of a Mesquite tree close by. He was as majestic as an eagle and the beauty of the scene humbled me. He appeared to be soaking in every minute of the fresh summer breeze and warm sunlight. It was that moment, when I paused to witness the splendor of my surroundings, when I connected all the sights, emotions, and energies, that I realized – I am In the Zen™. I returned to my rigorous cardio workout. The determination and focus were still with me, but now I also had harmony. Each stroke was effortless. I was present. Joyous. The splashes of pool water, the scent of freshly mowed grass, the melodious chirping of sparrows, the wonderful soreness in my limbs as I completed one stroke after another; I was relishing every moment. I thought to myself: this is how I wanted to experience life from here on… In the Zen™.

I still describe myself as determined, focused, and on-purpose... I'm just more balanced, harmonious, and simply put - In the Zen™.

Don't you just love it? I know I do. This message really resonates with me. I hope you'll check out their website and products and join the In the Zen movement!

You Must Be My Lucky Star. {I Heart Halloween.}

2010-11-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

For the record, I LOVE Halloween and the overall art of dress-up. Any excuse for a costume works for me. Seriously. However, I'm also a sucker for all things spooky. In the weeks leading up to one of my favorite days of the year, I watched The Shining (my all time favorite movie), Pet Cemetery (my boyfriend refused to watch it with me and I'm still a little mad), Misery (so much better than I even remembered) and the original Friday the 13th (hilariously bad).

Since I'm still limping around and wearing a very unattractive knee brace, I wasn't sure how much enthusiasm I would be able to put into my costume this year. Then my best friend reminded me, "Um, wild horses couldn't keep you from dressing up." Truer words may never have been spoken and I think I needed that little reminder. So, I threw myself headfirst into researching the costume I've wanted to wear since I was six years old, Madonna. (I've seen a lot of people swipe on some blue shadow and call that an eighties costume, but I really tried to be as authentic as possible because - let's face it - I have wanted to be Madonna since kindergarten.) Before you knew it, my boyfriend dressed up as a Chilean miner, we met up with our friend Brandon (also a miner) and had ourselves a great Friday night.

"I made it through the wilderness..."

Chilean miners.

Not even a knee brace could lessen my excitement.

The next night we decided to switch it up. During my weeks in physical therapy, I am often forced to watch one of my least favorite shows, Let's Make A Deal. The one upside? I got the idea for Jenner and I to dress up as a bumble bee and a beekeeper. Let's be honest, this costume was 103 times more comfortable than the material girl and multiple people stopped us on the street to take our photos. You know that made me happy...

I was really excited about these lashes. Not as excited about the amount of glitter on my face, however. It was like reliving the 90's and my complexion still hasn't forgiven me.

I had to track this costume down after learning it was sold out online. Totally worth it, though.

We met up with Autumn and her feller, Michael, downtown at the Griffin.

Halloween boys.

Cap'n Crunch won the costume contest at the Beauty Bar. Very well deserved.

We ran into these amazing bees and felt an instant connection. What can I say? These are my people.

This really was one of my favorite Halloweens so far and, let me tell you, it had some stiff competition. I just don't think I can wait another year to dress up. So, don't be surprised if you get an invitation to a costume party from yours truly very, very soon.

Here's hoping your Halloween was happy! Xoxo!

Love on the Ferris Wheel.

2010-11-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

I sat down this evening intending to post photos of my very fun Halloween weekend. However, I realized a few photos in that there were just far too many to choose from. (I'll gather the energy for that post tomorrow, folks.) So, instead, I'll share photos from last night at the carnival.

About a week ago, I told Jenner I really wanted to go to the carnival on Halloween night and like the sweet boy he is, he obliged. You see, in the very, very small town I grew up in, we didn't really have carnivals other than on Halloween night. I still smile remembering going to our Halloween carnival with my dad. He loved the cake walk and I loved going with him.

Now, to be perfectly frank, Jenner and I were being snippy with each other in the moments leading up to our ride on the ferris wheel. We were both tired from our busy weekend and we weren't even sure they would let me on the ride with my knee brace. We both just wanted to go home and relax, but this was really important to me.

And then, in the moments following me dropping my purse and all my belonging, we sat down and the sun began to set. It was just one of those perfect spaces of time. A beautiful sunset, a gorgeous night, memories of a little girl and her father, true love. These are the moments. Right here.